tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-885450209400152426.post7514161059832056498..comments2023-04-12T22:22:24.017+10:00Comments on This Is It - My Final Curtain: Guest Writer: The State - PrologueRavyn Nevermorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11346255801183776440noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-885450209400152426.post-19573514579995371972012-02-11T15:36:03.666+10:002012-02-11T15:36:03.666+10:00I liked it. It was different to what we're use...I liked it. It was different to what we're use to reading on here. Well thought out. Nice work Max.Sammy Gnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-885450209400152426.post-51476752722741403312012-02-11T12:50:38.111+10:002012-02-11T12:50:38.111+10:00Well thank you everybody for the feedback! What yo...Well thank you everybody for the feedback! What you've all told me made me realize a good point: it's way too long. And please, everyone has their own opinions, let's not have an argument on who's right or wrong. Finally, I'm sorry if anything wrote was offensive to anyone.Maxnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-885450209400152426.post-39396200117110423952012-02-11T12:42:00.103+10:002012-02-11T12:42:00.103+10:00@Jon I thought it was fine the way it was and that...@Jon I thought it was fine the way it was and that for a first story he deserves an A for his efforts. I was just saying that we shouldn't be so hard on him because he's young and inexperienced.Monicanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-885450209400152426.post-27437079041156310692012-02-11T12:39:24.615+10:002012-02-11T12:39:24.615+10:00@Monica - harsh would have been saying that was sh...@Monica - harsh would have been saying that was shit. We gave back constructive criticism in saying it was too long to be consider a prologue. If he didn't want it then he shouldn't have put it up on the site.Jonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-885450209400152426.post-49787828693882253662012-02-11T12:23:18.477+10:002012-02-11T12:23:18.477+10:00Some of you are way harsh considering this is a hi...Some of you are way harsh considering this is a high school kid we're talking about! I think he did a great job. A++++Monicanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-885450209400152426.post-55829072733642020422012-02-11T12:17:14.448+10:002012-02-11T12:17:14.448+10:00Good job Max. Well worded and captivating. Not bad...Good job Max. Well worded and captivating. Not bad for an English assignment :-)Paigehttps://twitter.com/#!/Poisoned_Paigenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-885450209400152426.post-9853561210314074062012-02-11T12:14:36.720+10:002012-02-11T12:14:36.720+10:00Good effort. Interesting concept but I will echo e...Good effort. Interesting concept but I will echo everyone else and say it was a little long for what is considered a prologue. If it was a little shorter than it would be perfect. Nice job, Max.Amynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-885450209400152426.post-17480450929737960912012-02-11T12:11:04.044+10:002012-02-11T12:11:04.044+10:00Different than what I'm use to reading on here...Different than what I'm use to reading on here, but different in a good way. Is that the end of the story because I'd like to know more about the drug, the war and what the hell the Vox Populi is.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-885450209400152426.post-72303690728182717362012-02-11T12:10:03.579+10:002012-02-11T12:10:03.579+10:00Love the letter at the start. Really caught my att...Love the letter at the start. Really caught my attention. The rest I felt was a little too long winded. <br /><br />I, personally, would have stopped it at "The President followed his Secretary of Defence out his office, making their way to the meeting hall to discuss a new peace treaty between The Vox and the State." The rest is just surplus.Jonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-885450209400152426.post-3127267828897568362012-02-11T12:07:48.319+10:002012-02-11T12:07:48.319+10:00Is this the whole English paper because if so, the...Is this the whole English paper because if so, then I don't have a problem with the length however if this is just the start up, then it's way too long. Prologues are short and to the point. They set the scene for the story. Cut it down a page and it'll be good.CiCinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-885450209400152426.post-79407732947315026172012-02-11T12:05:50.333+10:002012-02-11T12:05:50.333+10:00Good idea, timing is good, however it's a bit ...Good idea, timing is good, however it's a bit long for a prologue. Prologues are suppose to be an introduction to the story, not an entire chapter. If you're able to cut it down a bit, then I think it'll be better.Domnoreply@blogger.com