That's When The Fight Started

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.


I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered.


I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."


So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."


And that's when the fight started....
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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"


It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.


"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.


So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"


And that's when the fight started....

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Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.


I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.


The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.


I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.


I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered,


'The weather out there is terrible.'


My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'


And then the fight started ...
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A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.


She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband,


'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'


The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'


And then the fight started......
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I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.


"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."


He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""


Nah, she can order for herself."


And then the fight started...
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My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.


She asked, 'What's on TV?'


I said, 'Dust.'


And then the fight started...