20) You think "Libido" is an Italian pasta
19) The Tooth Fairy has more of your teeth than you do
18) You wake up with that awful "Morning After" feeling...and you didn't do anything the night before
17) You drink prune juice...on purpose
16) You start complaining that "They're building car seats too darn low!"
15) You sit down to breakfast and hear "Snap, Crackle and Pop," and you haven't poured milk on your cereal yet!
14) Your pharmacist calls you by your first name
13) Your car battery goes dead because your turn signal was on for two weeks straight
12) Lawn care has become a big part of your life
11) You begin to think of a caravan as "One sweet ride."
10) You're sitting on a park bench, and a scout comes up and helps you cross your legs
9) Conversations with people your age often turn into "Dueling Ailments"
8) Your sex drive suddenly shifts into "Park"
7) You think of a "Quickie" as napping at a traffic light
6) Your back goes out more often than you do
5) You have an uncontrollable urge to feed the pigeons in the park
4) Many of your co-workers were born the year you got your last promotion
3) You play bingo....and you like it
2) You light the candles on your birthday cake, and a group of campers show up with a big bag of marshmallows
1) You find this list tasteless and insensitive!
Fuck! I'm old!
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