What I Have Learned

I do not necessarily agree on the order of these facts, nor do all of them apply, but I'm sure that sometime through my life, I'll think . . .

DANG NAM!

As I've matured . . .

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.  All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes.  After that, you'd better have a big dick or huge boobs.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others.  They are more screwed up then you think.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you've finished.

I've learned that we are responsible for our actions, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.

I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it.

I've learned that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

I've learned to say "Fuck them" if they can't take a joke.  Learned it in 6 languages.