I'm wet and I'm moist
So come on let's rejoice
In the birds, the bees, the fillies and the colts
And the fact that we are all young adults (hi baby, how are you?)
And lie back on your couch
After this there'll be no doubt
I don't care if you're a Miss or a Missus
You done been squelched by the world's best kisses
Ho, ho, sit up straight and pout
I'll suck your face until I pull your molars out
A tongue so grand you'll call me more than friend
One kiss from this and you'll never brush your teeth again
(and you know it's true, mate)
Well go back to your husband now
Tell him you done broke your vow
Stand proud and say "Hey Mister,
I've just been kissed by the world's best kisser"
Ho, ho, sit up straight and pout
I'll suck your face until I pull your wisdoms out
A tongue so long it really grows and grows
Put it in your mouth and it'll clean out your nose
I've only kissed one girl before
My Grandma on the kitchen floor
She dribbled and grinned and said "Hey Kid,
You taught me things your Grandpa never did"
She added there'd be hell to pay
If Ma found out we'd gone astray
So hurry Paul, go and get some sleep
You finally got a skill to teach the sheep
Hey, hey, calm down and pucker up
These lips are strong enough to stop a truck
A tongue so long, it really packs a punch
One kiss from this
And I'll know what you had for lunch
One kiss from this
And I'll know what you had for lunch
Yesterday
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tA4EzfdLdPg&feature=related
Bargin Books, Games, Music, Movies & More
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Funk You
I don't know much about art but I can tell you this:
Duchamp's Urinal is a piece of piss
Van Gogh cut off his ear to spite his face - so what!
Me, I've got a message for the whole human race:
I wanna be a phallic symbol like the Tower of Pisa
And wipe the smile off the face of that bitch the Mona Lisa
I'll date Botticelli's Venus just to tease her
But unless you're hung like a Jackson Pollock
You couldn't please her!
Funk you! And funk your mother
Funk your sister, funk your auntie
And funk your little brother
When you've learnt how to funk one another
Don't leave that groovy thing on the shelf
Go home to the one you love and -
Funk yourself!
As Galileo said, "And yet it moves!"
While Oppenheimer splits the atom
And Newton finds the groove
But me, I agree with Einstein
Who put it so much simpler,
"I want to end as it began
With one big bang, not a whimper!"
Funk you! Funk quantum physics
When you've proved their theories wrong
You can go and funk the cynics
Take a proton pill as you butt-funk the critics
You're an E=MC squared (that's your life! )
Well, funk you buddy and -
Funk your wife!
Sexual psychology fascinates me more than art or science
I've attempted intercourse with every household appliance
A girl came to my clinic, I guess you'd call her a client
She wouldn't touch my pinkies, which I found so defiant
I said, "My psycho-analyst will love you, cos you look just like my sister."
She said, "But I've got no arms, and armless girls cannot play Twister!"
She tried to take my pants off and she had to use her teeth
But her stiff upper lip got caught in the metal zip
Funk you! And funk your mother
Funk your sister, funk your auntie
And funk your little brother
When you've learnt how to funk one another
Don't leave that groovy thing on the shelf
Go home to the one you love and -
Home to the one you love and -
Home to the one you love and -
Funk yourself!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAQoE0HwIsk
Duchamp's Urinal is a piece of piss
Van Gogh cut off his ear to spite his face - so what!
Me, I've got a message for the whole human race:
I wanna be a phallic symbol like the Tower of Pisa
And wipe the smile off the face of that bitch the Mona Lisa
I'll date Botticelli's Venus just to tease her
But unless you're hung like a Jackson Pollock
You couldn't please her!
Funk you! And funk your mother
Funk your sister, funk your auntie
And funk your little brother
When you've learnt how to funk one another
Don't leave that groovy thing on the shelf
Go home to the one you love and -
Funk yourself!
As Galileo said, "And yet it moves!"
While Oppenheimer splits the atom
And Newton finds the groove
But me, I agree with Einstein
Who put it so much simpler,
"I want to end as it began
With one big bang, not a whimper!"
Funk you! Funk quantum physics
When you've proved their theories wrong
You can go and funk the cynics
Take a proton pill as you butt-funk the critics
You're an E=MC squared (that's your life! )
Well, funk you buddy and -
Funk your wife!
Sexual psychology fascinates me more than art or science
I've attempted intercourse with every household appliance
A girl came to my clinic, I guess you'd call her a client
She wouldn't touch my pinkies, which I found so defiant
I said, "My psycho-analyst will love you, cos you look just like my sister."
She said, "But I've got no arms, and armless girls cannot play Twister!"
She tried to take my pants off and she had to use her teeth
But her stiff upper lip got caught in the metal zip
Funk you! And funk your mother
Funk your sister, funk your auntie
And funk your little brother
When you've learnt how to funk one another
Don't leave that groovy thing on the shelf
Go home to the one you love and -
Home to the one you love and -
Home to the one you love and -
Funk yourself!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAQoE0HwIsk
Dead Elvis
I was floating through the cemetery late last night
When I saw a ghost who was out of sight
He said, "Down in the graveyard there's a party going on
So get down, get down six feet and sing a spiritual song
Everyone's invited, we would be delighted
If you grabbed your favourite corpse and came along."
You don't move your arms and don't move your legs
You just do the, do the Dead Elvis
You don't grind your pelvis, it's the dance of the dead
You just do the, do the Dead Elvis
Your old hound dog's sniffin' at your tomb
Tryin' to find a bone that ain't been consumed
You can't jailhouse rock in your blue suede shoes
When you do, do, do - the Dead Elvis
I bet you're lonesome tonight in your hole in the ground
Old Shep's so shook up that he pissed on your crown
No one's crying in the chapel, get wise, get hip
There's some pretty heavy shit going down and you're it
Priscilla was delighted, all Dallas was invited
To poke fun a your corpse and kick your dog
You don't move your arms and don't move your legs
You just do the, do the Dead Elvis
You don't grind your pelvis, it's the dance of the dead
Come on and do the, do the Dead Elvis
It was a terrible day, when you had your cardiac arrest
They tried to find your heart but couldn't cut through the flesh
You can't Viva Las Vegas when there's no viva left
Come on and do, do, do - the Dead Elvis
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EApQ19FMgaY
When I saw a ghost who was out of sight
He said, "Down in the graveyard there's a party going on
So get down, get down six feet and sing a spiritual song
Everyone's invited, we would be delighted
If you grabbed your favourite corpse and came along."
You don't move your arms and don't move your legs
You just do the, do the Dead Elvis
You don't grind your pelvis, it's the dance of the dead
You just do the, do the Dead Elvis
Your old hound dog's sniffin' at your tomb
Tryin' to find a bone that ain't been consumed
You can't jailhouse rock in your blue suede shoes
When you do, do, do - the Dead Elvis
I bet you're lonesome tonight in your hole in the ground
Old Shep's so shook up that he pissed on your crown
No one's crying in the chapel, get wise, get hip
There's some pretty heavy shit going down and you're it
Priscilla was delighted, all Dallas was invited
To poke fun a your corpse and kick your dog
You don't move your arms and don't move your legs
You just do the, do the Dead Elvis
You don't grind your pelvis, it's the dance of the dead
Come on and do the, do the Dead Elvis
It was a terrible day, when you had your cardiac arrest
They tried to find your heart but couldn't cut through the flesh
You can't Viva Las Vegas when there's no viva left
Come on and do, do, do - the Dead Elvis
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EApQ19FMgaY
Krishna Riding Shotgun
Set 'em up, drink 'em down
And pass the cup around
It's the last we will share for quite some time
I've shaved my head, wear a dress
I've left my bonny wife
I've got Krishna riding shotgun
On the stagecoach of my life
My sweet Lord Rama Rama
Got my ticket to Nirvana
It's a commune just left of county Cork!
Share a pint with me Lord Shiva
As we read the Bhagavad Gita
I'll have Krishna riding shotgun
On the stagecoach of my life
Well, I used to be a cattle prod for Jesus
And L. Ron Hubbard took me in some, too
I was a moonie, loved Charles Manson,
But they are not as handsome,
As the godhead whose skin is shining blue
My sweet Lord Rama Rama
Got my ticket to Nirvana
It's a commune just left of county Cork!
Share a pint with me Lord Shiva
As we read the Bhagavad Gita
I'll have Krishna riding shotgun
On the stagecoach of my life
Hari, Hari, Ha, Hooray!
I chanted every day
With my virtue tucked proudly in my lap
And I pray all night to Krishna
'Cos he's a damn good listener
And he never ever ever answers back
My sweet Lord Rama Rama
Got my ticket to Nirvana
It's a commune just left of county Cork!
Share a pint with me Lord Shiva
As we read the Bhagavad Gita
I'll have Krishna riding shotgun
On the stagecoach of my life
And when Irish eyes are trying
To make the Pommies pay
We'll get Krishna and his shotgun
To join the IRA, the IRA, the IRA
Hari, Ha, Hooray!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbE4GKUUmOE
And pass the cup around
It's the last we will share for quite some time
I've shaved my head, wear a dress
I've left my bonny wife
I've got Krishna riding shotgun
On the stagecoach of my life
My sweet Lord Rama Rama
Got my ticket to Nirvana
It's a commune just left of county Cork!
Share a pint with me Lord Shiva
As we read the Bhagavad Gita
I'll have Krishna riding shotgun
On the stagecoach of my life
Well, I used to be a cattle prod for Jesus
And L. Ron Hubbard took me in some, too
I was a moonie, loved Charles Manson,
But they are not as handsome,
As the godhead whose skin is shining blue
My sweet Lord Rama Rama
Got my ticket to Nirvana
It's a commune just left of county Cork!
Share a pint with me Lord Shiva
As we read the Bhagavad Gita
I'll have Krishna riding shotgun
On the stagecoach of my life
Hari, Hari, Ha, Hooray!
I chanted every day
With my virtue tucked proudly in my lap
And I pray all night to Krishna
'Cos he's a damn good listener
And he never ever ever answers back
My sweet Lord Rama Rama
Got my ticket to Nirvana
It's a commune just left of county Cork!
Share a pint with me Lord Shiva
As we read the Bhagavad Gita
I'll have Krishna riding shotgun
On the stagecoach of my life
And when Irish eyes are trying
To make the Pommies pay
We'll get Krishna and his shotgun
To join the IRA, the IRA, the IRA
Hari, Ha, Hooray!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbE4GKUUmOE
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Family Ties
"Bye! Have a safe flight!"
He waved his father and new step-mother off. He closed the door. It was just him and his step-sister alone for two weeks while the parentals vacationed to Bali.
No sooner had he settled himself on the couch to watch Sports Center, then his younger step-sister emerged. Her long blond hair cascaded down her back and her outfit left much to be desired. Her short skirt revealed more then her creamy white thighs. If he craned his neck he could see the white lacy thong she wore underneath. Her top left nothing to the imagination either. It tightly pulled across her ample chest, riding up to reveal her bellybutton. It was obvious she wasn't wearing a bra as her nipples stood up, rubbing against the softness of the fabric.
Her shoes were the worst of the lot. Six inch heels made him bite his lip in anticipation. He could feel his erection straining against his jeans. Black and spiked, adding more length to her legs. He envisioned her bending over to refasten the buckle on the shoe, giving him a bird's eye view of forbidden fruit.
He shook his head. It wasn't like they were really related. They were only 'brother and sister' by marriage.
"And just where do you think you're going?"
"Out," came her short reply.
He rolled his eyes. He was three years older then her, but sometimes it felt like it was thirty.
"You're going to that party, aren't you?"
"So what if I am?"
"Dad told me that you couldn't go. Your grounded, remember?"
She snorted and flipped her hair. Her blue-green eyes shot daggers at him.
"So, what they don't know won't hurt them," she cooed, folding her arms across her chest. "Besides, you're not the boss of me."
She turned on her heel, reaching for door. She had only just pulled it open when his hand landed on her arm. He pushed the door closed with his free hand before dragging her back into the living room.
He gave her a gentle nudge and she fell onto the couch. She gave an exasperated sigh and crossed her legs. She didn't have time to hear a lecture.
"You're not leaving the house like that," he said, in his best big brother voice.
She rolled her eyes and snorted.
"You look like a hooker."
"That's the point. It's a pimps and ho's party. Everyone else will be wearing it."
"I don't care about everyone else, I care about you. Every sleazy guy in the area will be hitting on you. It's just not worth it."
She shot him a look. "You saying I have to get changed? Agh! You are so unreasonable. Everyone else will be dressed as a slut and I'll be the only fucking nun!" She stood up, rocking a little in the heels. She tugged her skirt down a little and pushed past him.
He grabbed her arm again. "I didn't say you had to change. I just said you weren't leaving the house dressed like that."
Her head snapped back as she stared at him. For the first time since her mother announced that she was marrying his father, she saw a wicked gleam in his eyes. She licked her bottom lip, jutting it out slightly and pouting. It always worked on her mother. Didn't seem to have the same effect on him.
"Fine," she snapped, unhooking his hand from her arm and stormed back upstairs.
He sighed and flopped back on the couch. He had missed most of Sports Center.
He turned the TV off. It was quiet. Almost too quiet.
He headed upstairs and, without knocking, opened her bedroom door. She was sitting on the windowsill, on leg hanging out the open window.
A primal growl escaped from him as he rushed to her, pulling her forcefully back inside and throwing her onto the bed. She cried out as she banged her elbow against the wall. He closed the window and turned to look at her.
She was rubbing her elbow and didn't seem the least bit remorseful for what happened.
"What did I say?" he shouted. "You're not leaving this house dressed like that. If you were determined to go to the damn party you could have least thrown on a coat or something!"
She narrowed her eyes at him. "You're a prick," she spat.
She moved to stand but he pushed her back. She fell backwards, ungracefully. She glared at him. "You can't keep me here," she told him.
He smirked. "Are you sure about that?"
For a brief moment, the anger in her eyes disappeared, replaced by fear.
He left the room, returning moments later with a pair of stainless steel handcuffs.
Now she was afraid. She backed up, pressing her back against the wall. "Wh-what are you doing?" she asked, her voice soft and meek.
He made a play for her wrist. Missed. She tucked both hands behind her body, keeping them at bay from him.
"You want to play that game, do you?" he asked.
He grabbed her legs, pulling her closer to him. She screamed as he flipped her. She tried to kick him but to no avail as he successfully secured her hands behind her back. For added measure, he coped a feel of one of her breasts. Round and firm, just how he had imagined.
She bucked underneath him, cursing at him. She could feel his cock pressing into her body. It was hard as it digged into the back of her thigh. He tweaked her nipple which caused her to cry out.
"Now, are we going to be good?" he whispered, his lips lightly brushing her ear.
She struggled under his weight but didn't respond.
He stood up, staring down at his 'sister', hands tied behind her back and her skirt had risen up to reveal the curve of her arse. He traced it with his finger. She craned her neck to glare at him.
Without saying a word he reached for her bathrobe, removing the cord. He gave her a full smile as he approached her, swinging the cord mindlessly. She swore at him again, fighting. She was attempting to back herself off the bed and stand.
"Such a dirty mouth for such a little girl," he mocked, kneeling, placing one knee either side of her body. With his hands, he reached up under the skirt and removed her panties. It was a difficult task as she struggled upon his touch, but he was successful. He then go busy tying her feet together with the cord from her bathrobe.
Her breathing was short and shallow. He watched as her chest rose and fell rapidly. He rolled her onto her side. Reaching down her top, he cupped her breast, squeezing gently. She watched him the entire time, a murderous look in her eye. He lowered her top so one breast was free. Lowering his head, he licked her nipple. He sucked on it, watching her reaction. Her eyes closed only for a moment. When they reopened, her gaze was still menacing.
He stood up. Reaching for her panties, he shoved them into his pocket. He was going to get good use out of them.
He pulled open her closet door and pulled out her school neck tie. Returning, he knelt beside her. "Can I trust you to be quiet?" he asked, his hand moving through her hair, his voice soft and gentle.
"Fuck you!"
He placed the tie in her mouth and secured it behind her head. Her eyes were wide, brimming with tears. "Later, sweetness," he teased, pinching her nipple, forcing her to cry out into the gag. "Remember, we have two weeks."
She began to panic, struggling against her binds as he left the room, locking the door behind him.
He went back downstairs, got himself a can of Coke from the fridge and made his way back into the living room.
Turning on the TV, he began channel surfing. He found some old film and sat contently to watch it. He took her panties out from his pocket, playing with the delicate material. He sniffed them, taking in her scent of desire. Before he had taken them off, she had been aroused.
His mind wondered back to her, tied and helpless on her bed. Her cries for help muffled by her school tie. He unzipped his jeans and began to masturbate himself. He was exceptionally turned on. Pre-cum glistened on his hand as he stroked himself. His mind was whirling with thoughts of his helpless 'sister'. It was a scenario that he had thought about ever since their parents had gotten married.
She teased him on a daily basis, strutting around in her school uniform, her skirt shorter then it was ever meant to be. She would flirt shamelessly, flipping her hair behind her, her eyes locked on him in an icy stare that made his blood boil. Whenever her pink tongue ducked out of her mouth to lick her lower lip, his pulse would race.
"Ughhhh."
He shot his load. He hadn't realized how horny he truly was. He reached for a tissue and cleaned himself, zipping his jeans up. It was just the thought of her at his mercy that had set him off.
He was suddenly hard again.
He threw the tissue into the bin and made his way up the stairs. He paused at the bedroom door, his ear pressed against the wood, listening. He could hear soft sobbing coming from inside. It was then he realized he had actually scared her.
He unlocked the door, opening it quietly. Lying on the bed, still bound, he saw her. Her face was tear stained, her tit still hanging out.
He moved closer to her. He could make out the red marks on her wrists from where she had struggled against the handcuffs. The bathrobe cord still held her feet tightly together.
Her eyes opened as she felt the weight of his gaze on her. He reached down, removing the gag from her mouth. "I'm sorry," she gasped. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She was hysterical. Gone were the murderous looks and cussing language.
In a bid to shush her, he placed his hand over her mouth. "I don't want to hurt you," he said, sliding his thumb over her cheek. "I have no desire to hurt you. But I am in charge while the parentals are away."
She nodded meekly.
He reached down and caressed her exposed breast, his hand gliding ever so gently over her nipple. Her eyes closed and he was mesmerised by her breathing.
"I'm going to take my hand away and you're not going to scream?" he said. He meant it as a question, but she knew it was an order.
Slowly he removed his hand. She stayed silent.
He continued to rub her, moving his hand from her breasts to her back, moving slowly towards her arse. His fingers trailed down her spine, following the curves of her body. He ran his finger down her arse, dipping underneath her, grabbing at her exposed pussy. He slipped a finger inside her and she let out a low moan.
"You like that?" he asked. She nodded, panting. He didn't really have to ask. He could feel her body responding to his invasive touch.
He laid down behind her, pulling her body into his. She could feel his erection straining for release from his jeans. She moved her hands, grabbing at him. He growled as she touched him through his pants. She massaged him as he bought her closer to an orgasm.
Then he stopped. He withdrew his finger, giving her a farewell stroke. She felt him move away from her. She craned her neck to see what was happening. She heard him unzip his jeans before he returned, inserting two fingers into her.
She gasped at his touch. He let his fingers explore her being, stopping occasionally to flick across her clitoris. He repositioned his hips and she felt his cock in her hands. She massaged him, alternating her touch from light to squeezing.
He lent down, taking her nipple in his mouth. He sucked on it before gently nipping it. She cried out and in turn squeezed his shaft, tightly. He closed his eyes. Her grip felt so good. He let his tongue flick across her nipple as he inserted a third finger. She groaned as her body accepted the new invader.
Between the rubbing of her hands and the grinding of his hips, it didn't take long for him to blow the creamy load into her hands. He removed his fingers from inside her, scooping up his hot jizz from her hand and smeared some of it across her body. He stuck his fingers into her mouth, forcing her to taste both him and her. She licked his fingers clean, seductively staring at him.
He removed his fingers from her mouth. She wiggled around, hinting at her own impending orgasm which had been placed on hold. He chuckled, moving down the bed. He pulled her skirt down, sliding it over her hips, then her thighs before ripping it off completely and tossing it to the ground.
He untied her feet, spreading her legs apart, looping each one over his shoulder. He placed his mouth right over her clitoris.
"Omigod!"
She let out a gasp as his tongue slipped inside her. Her eyes closed and she raised her hips, silently begging for him not to stop.
He lazily licked her slit from top to bottom, inserting his index finger every now and then. He refused to let her come. Everytime she was on the verge, he pulled away, taunting and teasing her, forcing for her to beg him.
"Please," her voice croaked.
He stared into her eyes. The pupils were dilated, her lips parted. She was breathing heavily, a sure sign that she was ready. Of course, the juices that leaked out of her were the other indication that she was ready.
"Please? Please what?" he teased, his tongue darting inside her for a second before retreating again.
"Please, let me come. Please, I'm begging you."
Her voice was pleading but he wasn't satisfied.
"What do you call me?" he asked, trailing his index finger across her sensitive clit.
She said his name, her eyes pleading.
He shook his head and continued his torture.
She cried out in a combination of frustration and pleasure. He stopped again, propping himself up between her legs. He blew cool air onto her pussy, making her jump.
"Let's try again. What do you want?"
She paused. If she repeated herself he'd only continue this torture of her body. She racked her brain. What was it that he said? 'What do you call me?' She stared at the ceiling, her mind whirling with possibilities. Only one seemed logical at a time like this.
"Please, Master. Let me come," she begged.
He smiled.
"Good girl. I knew you'd learn."
He returned to eating her out. She cried out, tossing her head back. She arched her back and dug her nails into the bed covers. It pained her as they were still cuffed behind her back, but it didn't seem to be a top priority. She wanted, nay, needed to come.
She felt it hit her like a tidal wave. Starting at her toes, her orgasm moved up her body. Every nerve was alive, tingling. She shuddered as she let her orgasm rush over her.
He continued to roll his tongue across her clitoris, forcing her come repeatedly.
He slowly stopped and let her relax. He watched her body go limp, her eyes closed, her body glowing with ecstasy.
Her breathing returned to normal and her eyes fluttered open. She tired to push herself up but failed. She rolled onto her side, her wrists still bound behind her. She groaned, struggling to break free. She felt like he had zapped her of all her energy.
She felt his hands on her wrists. She heard the click of the handcuffs unlocking. She sat up, rubbing her wrists. They were red and slightly bruised from where she had fought against her 'brother'.
He placed his hand on hers, touching her bruises lightly. "Did I do that?" he asked.
She shook her head. "Mostly my fault. If I hadn't of tried to get away, these marks wouldn't be here."
He cupped her chin, forcing her to look at him. "True, but it was sexy as hell to watch you fight it." He kissed her. Not rough. Not forcefully. But sweetly. Pleasantly.
She placed her hand on his chest, feeling his well toned body. Her fingers trailed lightly over his chest hair, intertwining with them.
They parted. She cocked her head to side, darting her tongue out to lick her bottom lip. Her eyes bore holes into him. "You want to fuck me, master?" she asked, teasingly. His eyes gleamed and before she knew what was happening, he was above her, pounding into her. He nipped her neck and she yelped. How did he know it was her sensitive spot?
She turned her head, allowing him full access to her neck. He didn't need any prompting as he proceeded to lick, kiss and suck at the tender flesh. The combination of him attending to her neck and pounding into her, sent her over the edge again. Her fingers gripped the bed sheet, her black nails lost in the sea of black satin.
He slowed his rhythm, watching her come. It was the hottest thing he ever saw. He felt her muscles contract around him, squeezing his member, bringing him closer to the edge.
Sweat fell from his brow. A couple more thrusts and he knew he'd be spent. He felt his own orgasm build as she came down from hers. She could feel him spewing his creamy load into her, filling her.
He pulled out of her. The sight of his come mixed with hers, running out of her pussy and down her thigh, excited him. He ran his finger along her leg, catching some of the fluid on his finger, which he offered to her. She opened her mouth, accepting his finger and the mixture of them both.
"Mmmmm," she said, her eyes locked onto his as her tongue swirled around the tip of his finger. "So, what are we doing tomorrow?"
He waved his father and new step-mother off. He closed the door. It was just him and his step-sister alone for two weeks while the parentals vacationed to Bali.
No sooner had he settled himself on the couch to watch Sports Center, then his younger step-sister emerged. Her long blond hair cascaded down her back and her outfit left much to be desired. Her short skirt revealed more then her creamy white thighs. If he craned his neck he could see the white lacy thong she wore underneath. Her top left nothing to the imagination either. It tightly pulled across her ample chest, riding up to reveal her bellybutton. It was obvious she wasn't wearing a bra as her nipples stood up, rubbing against the softness of the fabric.
Her shoes were the worst of the lot. Six inch heels made him bite his lip in anticipation. He could feel his erection straining against his jeans. Black and spiked, adding more length to her legs. He envisioned her bending over to refasten the buckle on the shoe, giving him a bird's eye view of forbidden fruit.
He shook his head. It wasn't like they were really related. They were only 'brother and sister' by marriage.
"And just where do you think you're going?"
"Out," came her short reply.
He rolled his eyes. He was three years older then her, but sometimes it felt like it was thirty.
"You're going to that party, aren't you?"
"So what if I am?"
"Dad told me that you couldn't go. Your grounded, remember?"
She snorted and flipped her hair. Her blue-green eyes shot daggers at him.
"So, what they don't know won't hurt them," she cooed, folding her arms across her chest. "Besides, you're not the boss of me."
She turned on her heel, reaching for door. She had only just pulled it open when his hand landed on her arm. He pushed the door closed with his free hand before dragging her back into the living room.
He gave her a gentle nudge and she fell onto the couch. She gave an exasperated sigh and crossed her legs. She didn't have time to hear a lecture.
"You're not leaving the house like that," he said, in his best big brother voice.
She rolled her eyes and snorted.
"You look like a hooker."
"That's the point. It's a pimps and ho's party. Everyone else will be wearing it."
"I don't care about everyone else, I care about you. Every sleazy guy in the area will be hitting on you. It's just not worth it."
She shot him a look. "You saying I have to get changed? Agh! You are so unreasonable. Everyone else will be dressed as a slut and I'll be the only fucking nun!" She stood up, rocking a little in the heels. She tugged her skirt down a little and pushed past him.
He grabbed her arm again. "I didn't say you had to change. I just said you weren't leaving the house dressed like that."
Her head snapped back as she stared at him. For the first time since her mother announced that she was marrying his father, she saw a wicked gleam in his eyes. She licked her bottom lip, jutting it out slightly and pouting. It always worked on her mother. Didn't seem to have the same effect on him.
"Fine," she snapped, unhooking his hand from her arm and stormed back upstairs.
He sighed and flopped back on the couch. He had missed most of Sports Center.
He turned the TV off. It was quiet. Almost too quiet.
He headed upstairs and, without knocking, opened her bedroom door. She was sitting on the windowsill, on leg hanging out the open window.
A primal growl escaped from him as he rushed to her, pulling her forcefully back inside and throwing her onto the bed. She cried out as she banged her elbow against the wall. He closed the window and turned to look at her.
She was rubbing her elbow and didn't seem the least bit remorseful for what happened.
"What did I say?" he shouted. "You're not leaving this house dressed like that. If you were determined to go to the damn party you could have least thrown on a coat or something!"
She narrowed her eyes at him. "You're a prick," she spat.
She moved to stand but he pushed her back. She fell backwards, ungracefully. She glared at him. "You can't keep me here," she told him.
He smirked. "Are you sure about that?"
For a brief moment, the anger in her eyes disappeared, replaced by fear.
He left the room, returning moments later with a pair of stainless steel handcuffs.
Now she was afraid. She backed up, pressing her back against the wall. "Wh-what are you doing?" she asked, her voice soft and meek.
He made a play for her wrist. Missed. She tucked both hands behind her body, keeping them at bay from him.
"You want to play that game, do you?" he asked.
He grabbed her legs, pulling her closer to him. She screamed as he flipped her. She tried to kick him but to no avail as he successfully secured her hands behind her back. For added measure, he coped a feel of one of her breasts. Round and firm, just how he had imagined.
She bucked underneath him, cursing at him. She could feel his cock pressing into her body. It was hard as it digged into the back of her thigh. He tweaked her nipple which caused her to cry out.
"Now, are we going to be good?" he whispered, his lips lightly brushing her ear.
She struggled under his weight but didn't respond.
He stood up, staring down at his 'sister', hands tied behind her back and her skirt had risen up to reveal the curve of her arse. He traced it with his finger. She craned her neck to glare at him.
Without saying a word he reached for her bathrobe, removing the cord. He gave her a full smile as he approached her, swinging the cord mindlessly. She swore at him again, fighting. She was attempting to back herself off the bed and stand.
"Such a dirty mouth for such a little girl," he mocked, kneeling, placing one knee either side of her body. With his hands, he reached up under the skirt and removed her panties. It was a difficult task as she struggled upon his touch, but he was successful. He then go busy tying her feet together with the cord from her bathrobe.
Her breathing was short and shallow. He watched as her chest rose and fell rapidly. He rolled her onto her side. Reaching down her top, he cupped her breast, squeezing gently. She watched him the entire time, a murderous look in her eye. He lowered her top so one breast was free. Lowering his head, he licked her nipple. He sucked on it, watching her reaction. Her eyes closed only for a moment. When they reopened, her gaze was still menacing.
He stood up. Reaching for her panties, he shoved them into his pocket. He was going to get good use out of them.
He pulled open her closet door and pulled out her school neck tie. Returning, he knelt beside her. "Can I trust you to be quiet?" he asked, his hand moving through her hair, his voice soft and gentle.
"Fuck you!"
He placed the tie in her mouth and secured it behind her head. Her eyes were wide, brimming with tears. "Later, sweetness," he teased, pinching her nipple, forcing her to cry out into the gag. "Remember, we have two weeks."
She began to panic, struggling against her binds as he left the room, locking the door behind him.
He went back downstairs, got himself a can of Coke from the fridge and made his way back into the living room.
Turning on the TV, he began channel surfing. He found some old film and sat contently to watch it. He took her panties out from his pocket, playing with the delicate material. He sniffed them, taking in her scent of desire. Before he had taken them off, she had been aroused.
His mind wondered back to her, tied and helpless on her bed. Her cries for help muffled by her school tie. He unzipped his jeans and began to masturbate himself. He was exceptionally turned on. Pre-cum glistened on his hand as he stroked himself. His mind was whirling with thoughts of his helpless 'sister'. It was a scenario that he had thought about ever since their parents had gotten married.
She teased him on a daily basis, strutting around in her school uniform, her skirt shorter then it was ever meant to be. She would flirt shamelessly, flipping her hair behind her, her eyes locked on him in an icy stare that made his blood boil. Whenever her pink tongue ducked out of her mouth to lick her lower lip, his pulse would race.
"Ughhhh."
He shot his load. He hadn't realized how horny he truly was. He reached for a tissue and cleaned himself, zipping his jeans up. It was just the thought of her at his mercy that had set him off.
He was suddenly hard again.
He threw the tissue into the bin and made his way up the stairs. He paused at the bedroom door, his ear pressed against the wood, listening. He could hear soft sobbing coming from inside. It was then he realized he had actually scared her.
He unlocked the door, opening it quietly. Lying on the bed, still bound, he saw her. Her face was tear stained, her tit still hanging out.
He moved closer to her. He could make out the red marks on her wrists from where she had struggled against the handcuffs. The bathrobe cord still held her feet tightly together.
Her eyes opened as she felt the weight of his gaze on her. He reached down, removing the gag from her mouth. "I'm sorry," she gasped. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She was hysterical. Gone were the murderous looks and cussing language.
In a bid to shush her, he placed his hand over her mouth. "I don't want to hurt you," he said, sliding his thumb over her cheek. "I have no desire to hurt you. But I am in charge while the parentals are away."
She nodded meekly.
He reached down and caressed her exposed breast, his hand gliding ever so gently over her nipple. Her eyes closed and he was mesmerised by her breathing.
"I'm going to take my hand away and you're not going to scream?" he said. He meant it as a question, but she knew it was an order.
Slowly he removed his hand. She stayed silent.
He continued to rub her, moving his hand from her breasts to her back, moving slowly towards her arse. His fingers trailed down her spine, following the curves of her body. He ran his finger down her arse, dipping underneath her, grabbing at her exposed pussy. He slipped a finger inside her and she let out a low moan.
"You like that?" he asked. She nodded, panting. He didn't really have to ask. He could feel her body responding to his invasive touch.
He laid down behind her, pulling her body into his. She could feel his erection straining for release from his jeans. She moved her hands, grabbing at him. He growled as she touched him through his pants. She massaged him as he bought her closer to an orgasm.
Then he stopped. He withdrew his finger, giving her a farewell stroke. She felt him move away from her. She craned her neck to see what was happening. She heard him unzip his jeans before he returned, inserting two fingers into her.
She gasped at his touch. He let his fingers explore her being, stopping occasionally to flick across her clitoris. He repositioned his hips and she felt his cock in her hands. She massaged him, alternating her touch from light to squeezing.
He lent down, taking her nipple in his mouth. He sucked on it before gently nipping it. She cried out and in turn squeezed his shaft, tightly. He closed his eyes. Her grip felt so good. He let his tongue flick across her nipple as he inserted a third finger. She groaned as her body accepted the new invader.
Between the rubbing of her hands and the grinding of his hips, it didn't take long for him to blow the creamy load into her hands. He removed his fingers from inside her, scooping up his hot jizz from her hand and smeared some of it across her body. He stuck his fingers into her mouth, forcing her to taste both him and her. She licked his fingers clean, seductively staring at him.
He removed his fingers from her mouth. She wiggled around, hinting at her own impending orgasm which had been placed on hold. He chuckled, moving down the bed. He pulled her skirt down, sliding it over her hips, then her thighs before ripping it off completely and tossing it to the ground.
He untied her feet, spreading her legs apart, looping each one over his shoulder. He placed his mouth right over her clitoris.
"Omigod!"
She let out a gasp as his tongue slipped inside her. Her eyes closed and she raised her hips, silently begging for him not to stop.
He lazily licked her slit from top to bottom, inserting his index finger every now and then. He refused to let her come. Everytime she was on the verge, he pulled away, taunting and teasing her, forcing for her to beg him.
"Please," her voice croaked.
He stared into her eyes. The pupils were dilated, her lips parted. She was breathing heavily, a sure sign that she was ready. Of course, the juices that leaked out of her were the other indication that she was ready.
"Please? Please what?" he teased, his tongue darting inside her for a second before retreating again.
"Please, let me come. Please, I'm begging you."
Her voice was pleading but he wasn't satisfied.
"What do you call me?" he asked, trailing his index finger across her sensitive clit.
She said his name, her eyes pleading.
He shook his head and continued his torture.
She cried out in a combination of frustration and pleasure. He stopped again, propping himself up between her legs. He blew cool air onto her pussy, making her jump.
"Let's try again. What do you want?"
She paused. If she repeated herself he'd only continue this torture of her body. She racked her brain. What was it that he said? 'What do you call me?' She stared at the ceiling, her mind whirling with possibilities. Only one seemed logical at a time like this.
"Please, Master. Let me come," she begged.
He smiled.
"Good girl. I knew you'd learn."
He returned to eating her out. She cried out, tossing her head back. She arched her back and dug her nails into the bed covers. It pained her as they were still cuffed behind her back, but it didn't seem to be a top priority. She wanted, nay, needed to come.
She felt it hit her like a tidal wave. Starting at her toes, her orgasm moved up her body. Every nerve was alive, tingling. She shuddered as she let her orgasm rush over her.
He continued to roll his tongue across her clitoris, forcing her come repeatedly.
He slowly stopped and let her relax. He watched her body go limp, her eyes closed, her body glowing with ecstasy.
Her breathing returned to normal and her eyes fluttered open. She tired to push herself up but failed. She rolled onto her side, her wrists still bound behind her. She groaned, struggling to break free. She felt like he had zapped her of all her energy.
She felt his hands on her wrists. She heard the click of the handcuffs unlocking. She sat up, rubbing her wrists. They were red and slightly bruised from where she had fought against her 'brother'.
He placed his hand on hers, touching her bruises lightly. "Did I do that?" he asked.
She shook her head. "Mostly my fault. If I hadn't of tried to get away, these marks wouldn't be here."
He cupped her chin, forcing her to look at him. "True, but it was sexy as hell to watch you fight it." He kissed her. Not rough. Not forcefully. But sweetly. Pleasantly.
She placed her hand on his chest, feeling his well toned body. Her fingers trailed lightly over his chest hair, intertwining with them.
They parted. She cocked her head to side, darting her tongue out to lick her bottom lip. Her eyes bore holes into him. "You want to fuck me, master?" she asked, teasingly. His eyes gleamed and before she knew what was happening, he was above her, pounding into her. He nipped her neck and she yelped. How did he know it was her sensitive spot?
She turned her head, allowing him full access to her neck. He didn't need any prompting as he proceeded to lick, kiss and suck at the tender flesh. The combination of him attending to her neck and pounding into her, sent her over the edge again. Her fingers gripped the bed sheet, her black nails lost in the sea of black satin.
He slowed his rhythm, watching her come. It was the hottest thing he ever saw. He felt her muscles contract around him, squeezing his member, bringing him closer to the edge.
Sweat fell from his brow. A couple more thrusts and he knew he'd be spent. He felt his own orgasm build as she came down from hers. She could feel him spewing his creamy load into her, filling her.
He pulled out of her. The sight of his come mixed with hers, running out of her pussy and down her thigh, excited him. He ran his finger along her leg, catching some of the fluid on his finger, which he offered to her. She opened her mouth, accepting his finger and the mixture of them both.
"Mmmmm," she said, her eyes locked onto his as her tongue swirled around the tip of his finger. "So, what are we doing tomorrow?"
Friday, November 26, 2010
It's Christmas Time Again
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.
'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'
Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'
The man replied, 'These are Carols.'
And So The Christmas Season Begins......
'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.
'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'
Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'
The man replied, 'These are Carols.'
And So The Christmas Season Begins......
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
12 Things Not To Say To A Woman
Forget the chat-up lines! Finding the right words to impress a girl isn’t easy, so let’s start with a process of elimination...
1 - “You’re really pretty!”
Why not: If she is really pretty, she’s heard it before. If she isn’t, don’t fib.
She hears: “Blah-blah I wanna have sex with you.”
Instead: Five minutes’ conversation is all it takes, then say, “That’s an amazing story” — a true compliment that she won’t get from every jerk.
2 - “Can I tell you something?”
Why not: It’s usually followed by a lame line like, “You’re really pretty!”
What she hears: “I’m nervous about wanting to have sex with you.”
Instead: If it’s that pressing, just tell her. Only, if it’s “I wanna do stuff to you — heh,” best keep it to yourself.
3 - “This is my mate Mick. He’s just been inside, but don't worry, it wasn’t a violent sex crime”
Why not: First rule of wingman-ing: together you are strong, alone you are losers harassing girls. Don’t spill secrets.
What she hears: “Run!”
Instead: “This is Mick. He’s, uh, in the security industry. And he’s a legend.”
4 - “And that was the second time I tried to kill myself…”
Why not: Don’t offload all your crappy baggage on her.
What she hears: “I’m an immature psycho who needs a mother.”
Instead: Keep it upbeat.
5 - “Thank you”
Why not: It sounds like she’s doing you a favour.
She hears: “My self-esteem is so low, I assume you’re doing this out of charity, and I think of you as a free hooker.”
Instead: “That was great. Let’s do it again some time. Like, say… now!”
6 - “Your ‘boyfriend’?”
Why not: If you like the no-strings hook-ups, don’t get the s---- when she reveals she has a boyfriend.
She hears: “I’m gonna find him, fight him and ruin your life.”
Instead: Give yourself a mental high-five for fulfilling her needs better than her chosen partner, and enjoy the ride.
7 - “You’re so much better than my ex…”
Why not: You mean it as a compliment, but to her it cheapens the deal.
What she hears: “I’m using you as a replacement for my ex.”
Instead: Tell her about her. We all like to hear about how good we are, and you’ve probably got some material.
8 - “Same time next week?”
Why not: It sounds like it’s routine. And just because it’s not serious doesn’t mean she won’t get hurt if you take her for granted.
What she hears: “Thanks again, meaningless sex vendor!”
Instead: “So, when are you free next?”
9 - “Now that you mention it, you have put on a few kilos”
Why not: She knows she’s gained weight, you know, and the springs in your bed definitely know. She’s asking to be lied to, and that’s your duty.
Instead: “No. You’re beautiful.”
10 - “You’re so like your mother!”
Why not: Everyone dreads becoming their parents, everyone does in the end — and everyone hates having it pointed out.
What she hears: “You will die a neurotic, emotionally shrivelled husk of a woman.”
Instead: Find a less psychologically damaging way to deliver petty criticisms.
11 - “I cheated on you, but it meant nothing”
Why not: She doesn’t need to know.
What she hears: “I cheated on you with the specific aim of hurting you.”
Instead: Just keep your mouth shut.
12 - “Your [guy] friend wants you”
Why not: She won’t believe you.
What she hears: “People are only interested in your body. All people. Everywhere.”
Instead: “Your [guy] friend is awesome. I want to hang out with him more.” After all, where do you keep your enemies? That’s right: close...
1 - “You’re really pretty!”
Why not: If she is really pretty, she’s heard it before. If she isn’t, don’t fib.
She hears: “Blah-blah I wanna have sex with you.”
Instead: Five minutes’ conversation is all it takes, then say, “That’s an amazing story” — a true compliment that she won’t get from every jerk.
2 - “Can I tell you something?”
Why not: It’s usually followed by a lame line like, “You’re really pretty!”
What she hears: “I’m nervous about wanting to have sex with you.”
Instead: If it’s that pressing, just tell her. Only, if it’s “I wanna do stuff to you — heh,” best keep it to yourself.
3 - “This is my mate Mick. He’s just been inside, but don't worry, it wasn’t a violent sex crime”
Why not: First rule of wingman-ing: together you are strong, alone you are losers harassing girls. Don’t spill secrets.
What she hears: “Run!”
Instead: “This is Mick. He’s, uh, in the security industry. And he’s a legend.”
4 - “And that was the second time I tried to kill myself…”
Why not: Don’t offload all your crappy baggage on her.
What she hears: “I’m an immature psycho who needs a mother.”
Instead: Keep it upbeat.
5 - “Thank you”
Why not: It sounds like she’s doing you a favour.
She hears: “My self-esteem is so low, I assume you’re doing this out of charity, and I think of you as a free hooker.”
Instead: “That was great. Let’s do it again some time. Like, say… now!”
6 - “Your ‘boyfriend’?”
Why not: If you like the no-strings hook-ups, don’t get the s---- when she reveals she has a boyfriend.
She hears: “I’m gonna find him, fight him and ruin your life.”
Instead: Give yourself a mental high-five for fulfilling her needs better than her chosen partner, and enjoy the ride.
7 - “You’re so much better than my ex…”
Why not: You mean it as a compliment, but to her it cheapens the deal.
What she hears: “I’m using you as a replacement for my ex.”
Instead: Tell her about her. We all like to hear about how good we are, and you’ve probably got some material.
8 - “Same time next week?”
Why not: It sounds like it’s routine. And just because it’s not serious doesn’t mean she won’t get hurt if you take her for granted.
What she hears: “Thanks again, meaningless sex vendor!”
Instead: “So, when are you free next?”
9 - “Now that you mention it, you have put on a few kilos”
Why not: She knows she’s gained weight, you know, and the springs in your bed definitely know. She’s asking to be lied to, and that’s your duty.
Instead: “No. You’re beautiful.”
10 - “You’re so like your mother!”
Why not: Everyone dreads becoming their parents, everyone does in the end — and everyone hates having it pointed out.
What she hears: “You will die a neurotic, emotionally shrivelled husk of a woman.”
Instead: Find a less psychologically damaging way to deliver petty criticisms.
11 - “I cheated on you, but it meant nothing”
Why not: She doesn’t need to know.
What she hears: “I cheated on you with the specific aim of hurting you.”
Instead: Just keep your mouth shut.
12 - “Your [guy] friend wants you”
Why not: She won’t believe you.
What she hears: “People are only interested in your body. All people. Everywhere.”
Instead: “Your [guy] friend is awesome. I want to hang out with him more.” After all, where do you keep your enemies? That’s right: close...
Sunday, November 14, 2010
The Stalker
You see me.
You watch and obsess.
Everything I do, you study. You try to understand the reasoning behind my movements.
First there were the letters. Then the calls. Then, when I called for the police, you disappeared, making me believe that you were nothing but an illusion.
But you're not.
I know you're there, watching as I undress. I can feel you, your eyes following me, and the hairs on the back of my neck stand to attention. You're scaring me.
I close the window, pulling down the blinds but my sense of fear stays. And it hits me, a realization that I haven't checked the doors.
Half naked, I race downstairs to see the back door open, swinging in the breeze of the cool night. Gasping for air, I race to the phone. I must call for help. I dial the first number when I get that unshakable sense. I tense, knowing you're there.
As you approach I can smell your cologne. The scent I bought for my partner lingers near my nose. I can feel your breath on the nape of my neck, you hands running over my body. You expect me to feel powerless, to give in.
But, you picked on the wrong girl.
With a jab to the ribs, you're on the ground. You struggle for air and watch as I make my escape into the night.
I bang on the doors of the neighboring homes, in hopes someone will come to my rescue.
A door opens and I tell my frightening story. He leads me inside, checking to see if you are coming.
As he closes the door, I collapse into the armchair. He stands before me, offering his robe to shield my semi-nude body. Thanking him, I stand, accepting his robe. But as I tie it into place, I get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I know that scent. That cologne.
Wide eyed, I turn to see you're grinning face. I have played into your trap. My scream is muffled beneath the gag you thrust into my mouth. You bind my hands and carry me towards the basement, my sobbing cries lost in the music of the night.
You watch and obsess.
Everything I do, you study. You try to understand the reasoning behind my movements.
First there were the letters. Then the calls. Then, when I called for the police, you disappeared, making me believe that you were nothing but an illusion.
But you're not.
I know you're there, watching as I undress. I can feel you, your eyes following me, and the hairs on the back of my neck stand to attention. You're scaring me.
I close the window, pulling down the blinds but my sense of fear stays. And it hits me, a realization that I haven't checked the doors.
Half naked, I race downstairs to see the back door open, swinging in the breeze of the cool night. Gasping for air, I race to the phone. I must call for help. I dial the first number when I get that unshakable sense. I tense, knowing you're there.
As you approach I can smell your cologne. The scent I bought for my partner lingers near my nose. I can feel your breath on the nape of my neck, you hands running over my body. You expect me to feel powerless, to give in.
But, you picked on the wrong girl.
With a jab to the ribs, you're on the ground. You struggle for air and watch as I make my escape into the night.
I bang on the doors of the neighboring homes, in hopes someone will come to my rescue.
A door opens and I tell my frightening story. He leads me inside, checking to see if you are coming.
As he closes the door, I collapse into the armchair. He stands before me, offering his robe to shield my semi-nude body. Thanking him, I stand, accepting his robe. But as I tie it into place, I get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I know that scent. That cologne.
Wide eyed, I turn to see you're grinning face. I have played into your trap. My scream is muffled beneath the gag you thrust into my mouth. You bind my hands and carry me towards the basement, my sobbing cries lost in the music of the night.
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