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Friday, August 30, 2013


Friends are those people
Who touch one another's lives
And become a part of them

You have touched my life
In a way one could never imagine
Loyal and true
You mean more to me
Than you'll ever know

Friends are those
Who learn to share
In one another's happiness
In their deepest secrets
And their fondest memories

You are the sun
That brightens up my dark skies
Someone I can rely on
To make me smile when the chips are down
You're the one I always want around

Friends are those people
Who touch one another's hearts
And lives and make them
Brighter and happier as time goes by

So from the bottom of my heart
And this I swear is true
Thank you for just being you

Friday, August 16, 2013

The Feast Of St. Roch

It was August and it was hot.  And I do mean hot.

I was sitting in my apartment in my underwear, sliding ice cubes down my chest as warm air from the electric fan washed over me in an effort to cool my body.  It wasn't working.

After my little Independence Day stunt the city was awash in panic.  The post office refused to deliver parcels in case it was a bomb from the Calendar Killer.  The local coffee shop has police inspect all delivers made just in case if their beans were somehow contaminated with poison.  I had to hand it to everybody; they were taking my threats against the city quite well.

Sadly, as the days passed, the people fell back into their daily routines.  They had forgotten all about me.  The post office began delivering parcels again, which included the chemistry set I had bought online.

I glanced over at my dining room table.  My chemistry set was still in it's box.  I hadn't bothered to open it just yet.  Mostly because I hadn't found a way to make your own rabies.

I glanced at my calendar.  August 16th was just around the corner.  Only three more days.

Slowly, I pulled myself from my overstuffed chair.  My skin burned as it stuck to the leather.  Sweat poured from my brow as I made my way over to the kit.  I set it up, my tongue poking out the corner of my mouth like it always did when I was concentrating hard.


I glanced down at it.  The beakers were shiny and new.  All the tubes were ready to go to mix my dangerous toxin to help celebrate the Feast of St. Roch.

St. Roch was the patron saint of dogs.  His 'feast' as it came to be known was always on August 16th.  An obscure date to be sure, but when I selected it for my next attack on the city, I thought it was the perfect way to celebrate the "dog days of summer."

Chewing on my lower lip, I went over to my laptop and being ferociously searching for how to create some animal virus like rabies.  Not surprisingly my searches came back empty.

Against my better judgement I threw on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt before lacing up my sneakers.  A walk around the block always calmed me down and gave me good ideas.

I stepped outside.  It was wonderfully hellish.  The kids on my block were trying to crack open a fire hydrant so they could play in the gushing water.  I walked passed them, a smile on my face.  If they managed to open it I'd come back and play in it with them.

As I rounded the corner into the alleyway that was directly behind my building, I got a sense that something was wrong.  Reaching out, my hand wrapped around a metal pole.  The metal was hot to touch and I felt it burn my hand, but I held onto it anyway.

Then I saw it.  A skinny dog hunting around in the garbage.  He glanced up at me, his fur matted, possibly by the heat.  I could smell him.  It smelt like he hadn't been bathed in his entire life.  He was a stray.

Then he bared his teeth at me, white foam dripping from his lips.  Could it be?  Could this dog have rabies?

I wanted to jump for joy.  My plans for August wouldn't go amiss.  I had found the one thing I needed.  Now I just needed to catch it and make sure not to let it escape before the 16th.

I raced back to my apartment and grabbed the animal carrier I had before my pet dog, a Dalmatian, has died.  I flew back down the stairs and out the door.  I raced back into the alleyway, placed the cage on the ground and stood back.

The dog eyed me suspiciously, baring its teeth.  It was painful to look at.  I may be cruel to my own kind, but seeing an animal in need always breaks my heart.

The dog lunged at me, snapping its jaws, white foam falling from its lips.  I moved out of the way and it landed in the cage.

Quickly, I locked the door to the cage and stood back watching the savage animal slam its body against the bars.

I carried the animal back upstairs and placed the cage gently down in my living room.  I filled a plastic container with water and somehow managed to slip that inside the cage without the dog ripping my arm off.  It was still snarling and baring its teeth at me.

I watched as he sniffed the container before lapping at it, water soothing his tongue.  I knew the animal would have to put down, but I was determined to make his last few days on Earth memorable and easy.

The next couple of days were tough.  He growled every time I went near the cage.  I fed him table scraps and kept his water bowl full and fresh.  I even posted an anonymous letter to the police informing them of my festivities.  I checked the news every night to see if anything would be mentioned about me.  There wasn't.

The morning of the 16th I was rudely woken by my neighbour blaring his music.  I glanced at the clock, my eyes red from lack of sleep.  5:00AM.

I groaned, rolling back over, covering my head with a pillow.

Twenty minutes later, I was no closer to going back to sleep.  I got up, had a cold shower as it was already sticky and hot, before getting dressed in a light cotton T-shirt and a pair of jeans.  I laced up my sneakers and checked on the dog.  He was asleep, foam still dripping from his lips.

I picked up the cage and made my way downstairs.  I loaded the dog into my car and drove to the park.  I sat in the car, the air conditioner on full blast as I waited.

Nearly two hours passed before people started turning up.  The park was full of families trying to have fun in the sweltering conditions.

I got out of the car and walked to the back seat.  I opened the door then unlocked the cage before racing to climb back into the car.

The door to the cage swung open as the dog, who I named Cujo, lunged against the cage.  I heard his paws hit the ground as he landed in the car park.  I watched through the closed window as he began snarling, the fur on the back of his neck standing up on end.

Without warning he took off running, racing through the park, attacking everyone and everything in front of him.

I climbed out of the car and calmly closed the back door, watching with interest as screams of shock and terror flooded my eardrums.

I watched as he savaged a child, biting her on the arm with such force I could hear the bone breaking.  Her wails of fear echoed across the park.  He lunged at her father who tried to protect her, biting his throat.  I could see the blood pouring from the gaping wound.

People were running in fear.  A jogger with her dog stopped to see if she could help.  As I climbed back into the car I saw Cujo sink his teeth into the poodle's neck, passing on the dangerous infection that had possessed him.

As I drove home I watched in sheer delight as people raced back and forth.  I knew that the rabies virus would take a while to react in people, but the madness that ensured soon after people were bitten was glorious to watch.

I got home and carried the cage upstairs.  I could still hear the screams through the brick walls of the apartment building.  A spine-chilling howl ripped through the city and I stopped dead, my key in hand as I was about to unlock my apartment.

I got inside and placed the carrier cage back in the hallway closet.  I got undressed and opened every window my apartment had.  It was still early in the morning but the temperature was already exceeding the predication of the weather girl on channel four.

Lying back in my favorite chair in my underwear I flipped on the news.  Sure enough, in the park stood a lone reporter talking about the sudden outbreak of "mad dog" that was roaming the park behind her.

I chuckled loudly as one of the dogs my Cujo had bitten jumped on the reporter growling and biting her, ripping her clean white blouse to shreds.

As the screen returned to the news room, I could hear police sirens in the distance.

"We're now crossing live to the police station where Commissioner Harris made an announcement that they had gotten a letter from the Calendar Killer again.  He held a piece of paper up to the camera to show my threatening letter made from magazines and newspapers.

"This man is dangerous," the Commissioner said, scratching his chin.  "We received this letter this morning; 'Out of the ashes and down the furnace-hot streets the dogs will come.  Mad, savage and looking for fun.  Today is The Feast of St. Roch, the patron saint of dogs.  August 16th will be remembered as the day I released the hounds.'"

Monday, August 12, 2013

Rhiannon Irons' Top 13 Must See Shark Movies

Another Top 13 list.  No, it cannot be!  

This time I take on a fear that strikes the heart of all beach goers at some point in time.  For what is lurking beneath the waves is another world... and it has razor sharp teeth.

13:  Swamp Shark (2011)

A shark in a swamp?  Yeah right.  In this creepy, weird, unbelievable tale it's true.  When an animal smuggling operation goes wrong a large sea 'creature' is dumped into a swamp.  All havoc breaks loose as people start getting mangled.  Naturally, gators are blamed but it's up to one family to prove it was a swamp shark.

The creepiest thing about this film is watching the original Buffy (Kristy Swanson) tote a gun and take on something with a bigger set of fangs than a vampire.

12:  Shark Night 3D (2011)

A bunch of kids, trapped on an island while the lakes around them are filled with not one, but fifteen species of sharks.  That's a vacation that you'll never forget.

Over all this film is forgettable.  Wooden acting, terrible dialogue and some of the worse CGI sharks I've ever seen.  So why is it on this list?  For a PG 13 movie, it has some of the goriest kills I've ever seen.  The most chilling one, watching the brave Blake grab a hold of his friend Malik on the back of jetski in order to get some help as Malik's been wounded and is missing his arm.  Malik sees a dorsal fin behind the jet ski and sacrifices himself to the shark.  What I didn't expect was to see a shark leap out of the water and take Blake right off the jet ski.  Creepy.

11:  Bait (2012)

When a tsunami hits the Gold Coast of Australia, a group of unlucky individuals find themselves trapped in a flooded supermarket and underground car park with not one, but two Great White sharks stalking them.  

Comprised of Australian actors (some using very terrible and painful to watch American accents) this film has it's ups and downs.  The most chilling part for me is watching the demise of Lincoln Lewis' character Kyle.  The damn shark should have taken the dog......or the blonde Paris Hilton wannabe.

10:  Megalodon (2002)

A deep-sea drilling operation goes horribly wrong, releasing the deadliest ocean predator that has ever roamed the seas since prehistoric times-Carcharodon Megalodon...sixty feet of prehistoric terror.

There's something very fascinating about the Megalodon and while this film tries so hard to bring it into the minds of people everywhere, it's just not that scary.  So why is it on this list?  Because there's something very scary about a sixty foot shark.  The creepiest part of this film was watching Ross realize that in order to save those left he would have to kill himself and take the monster shark with him.

9:  Shark Swarm (2008)

A fisherman and his family fight to take down a greedy real estate developer who has released toxins into the ocean, turning the area's sharks into bloodthirsty hunters.

What chilled me the most about this made for TV movie was the impressive body count.

8:  Deep Blue Sea (1999)

What's scarier than a Mako?  How about three Makos?  Still not scary enough.... OK, how about 3 genetically engineered Makos that actually manage to kill Samual L. Jackson?  Now I have your attention.

Not that creative or original, Deep Blue Sea did provide some thrills.  The most chilling moment for me was seeing Dr. Jim Whitlock being rammed against the underwater laboratory window after having his arm taken by one of the sharks.

7:  12 Days Of Terror (2005)

Based on true events that took place from 1 - 12 July 1916 in New Jersey, this television movie was based on a book of the same name by Richard Fernicola.  While the film states it's a Great White Shark behind the slaughter during these 12 days, shark experts believe it was actually a bull shark because the animal was seen swimming into a freshwater channel on the 12th day.

The most chilling fact about this movie for me is this is one of the books that inspired Peter Benchley's Jaws.

6:  Sharknado (2013)

It's terrible.  It's bad.  It's so bloody bad that it's good.  Sharknado has become one of the most talked about shark movies in the last decade.  
A freak hurricane hits Los Angeles, causing man-eating sharks to be scooped up in water spouts and flooding the city with shark-infested seawater.  Told you it was bad.

The most chilling moment for me was watching Nova preparing to throw one of the bombs and ends up falling out of the helicopter and into the waiting jaws of a shark.  

5:   Jaws 2 (1978)

I know what you're thinking; how the hell did a sequel make this list, but here me out.  A group of teens stranded on wreaked sailing ships as they're being stalked by a monstrous Great White is the main premise for the film, but seeing Roy Scheider return as Martin Brody was one of the reasons this sequel was one of the highest grossing sequels.

My most chilling moment from Jaws 2 was watching Eddie hang onto the boat for dear life as the shark devoured him.  The boat snaps under the sheer strength of his grip on it and the shark's grip on him.

4:  Dark Tide (2012)

Halle Berry survives a near fatal shark attack and is terrified to get back into the water again.  Low and behold she has to when a thrill-seeking multimillionaire presents her with an offer she can refuse; take him for a dive outside the cage.

The most chilling aspect about this film is how real the tension is.  This is one shark chasing thriller that is sure to delight.

3:  Open Water (2003)

This film is inspired by a true story about an American couple, Tom and Eileen Lonergan, who in 1998 went with a scuba group to an area off the coast of the Great Barrier Reef in Australia.  They were accidentally left behind due to a faulty head count taken by the dive boat crew.  There were 26 other divers and 5 crew members who failed to notice that the couple were not on the boat.  It was not until two days later on January 27, 1998, that the pair were reported missing after a bag containing their passports and belongings was found in the dive boat.  A massive air and sea search took place over the following three days but failed to find them.  The couple were never found again, though there is plenty of speculation that they faked their own deaths as their tanks, camera and wetsuits washed ashore in the following weeks without a single bite mark appearing on them.

What makes this film chilling is simply how real it is.  Being Australian, I know the story of the Lonergan's well and being stranded in the ocean with our deadly predators circling certainly makes for a chilling vacation.

2:  The Reef (2010)

I've often spoken about The Reef as being the greatest shark film for my generation.  I stand by that statement.  Real shark footage integrated with the actors makes this film an outstanding piece of work.  A great white shark hunts the crew of a capsized sailboat along the Great Barrier Reef.

What makes this film so terrifying is that once again it's based on a true story and the feeling of helplessness and isolation is overwhelming.

1:  Jaws (1975)

Is it really a surprise that this is number one?  38 years has passed and this film is still the reason why some people don't step foot in the water.  
When a gigantic great white shark begins to menace the small island community of Amity, a police chief, a marine scientist and grizzled fisherman set out to stop it.

The most chilling part of this film is hard to say as there are too many choices.  But watching the opening sequence is a powerful reminder never to go swimming when it's dark.

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Rhiannon Irons' Top 13 Must See Horror Films For Halloween

I love Halloween.  There's nothing better than seeing young children dressed up like witches and zombies, lots of yummy treats and cool parties and above all, the spooky fun that is the magic of the movies.  I've complied a list of Halloween horror movies that help celebrate the day that belongs to goblins, ghouls and ghosts.

13:  Halloween H20 (1998)

Twenty years after the first wave of attacks, Jamie Lee Curtis is back as Laurie Strode.  Taking on her big brother, Michael Myers in a showdown, H20 often cops a lot of criticism.  I find it enjoyable, plus it was my initiation into the Halloween franchise.

12:  Junkyard Dog (2010)

Brad Dourif is always a reason to watch a movie, but this film is one hell of a psychological thriller.  It explores the demented mind of a cannibalistic serial rapist who kidnaps his tenth victim in as many months on Halloween night.

11:  Night Of The Demons (1988)

Teens do the most idiotic things!  Here ten teens decide to host a party on the night of Halloween at an abandoned funeral home built on an evil strip of land.  To kick things off, a séance is held in front of a mirror, and all hell breaks loose – quite literally.

10:  Idle Hands (1999)

Devon Sawa, Seth Green, Elden Henson and a young Jessica Alba in a story of young teen who is absolutely lazy as all hell who winds up with a hand that is possessed by the devil.  Outrageous and funny as all hell, this comedy/horror is a must for Halloween night.  (Fun Fact: The "hand" is played by Christopher Hart who was also Thing in The Addams Family movies)

9:  Jack-O (1995)

It’s moronic teens at Halloween again when three friends choose this of all nights to seek out an ancient cemetery in the suburbs.  For fun they remove a cross from the tomb of Jack-O, who was buried many years ago after being killed by Arthur Kelly.  An evil creature bent on hunting down the descendants of the Kelly family is unleashed.

8:  Clownhouse (1986)

Nominated for the Grand Jury prize at Sundance, Clownhouse follows in the footsteps of John Carpenter’s Halloween in limiting the blood and gore by achieving its chills through suspense, shock and surprise.  Mix one lad with a pathological fear of clowns, three crazed killers and a circus in town and let the terror begin

7:  Boo (2005)

A handful of college students do not have the ghost of a chance when they get trapped in a haunted hospital on Halloween. ‘But I don’t believe in ghosts,’ reasons one. ‘Don’t worry, you will,’ grimly answers another.

6:  The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

OK, so it's not a horror, but I couldn't resist adding this to the list.  After all it's something I watch every year without fail.  In this animated classic Tim Burton lets his bizarre, macabre imagination loose on a modern-day fairytale that unleashes Jack Skellington, a Halloween Town dweller, to try to figure out exactly what Christmas Town is all about.  Certainly not your traditional Christmas offering, but not your classic Halloween flick either – this is quite simply truly original.

5:  The Pumpkin Karver (2006)

It’s more than just the pumpkins that are being carved in this Halloween slasher classic.  A young man stabbed to death on the evening of 31 October 2003 returns in a horrific new guise exactly one year later to brutally butcher six people at a Halloween party.

4:  Trick Or Treats (1982)

A baby sitter is stuck watching over a young brat on Halloween night who keeps playing vicious pranks on her.  To add to her trouble the boy's deranged father has escaped from an asylum and is planning on making a visit.

3:  The Little Girl Who Lived Down The Lane (1976)

With Jodie Foster and Martin Sheen, this film is often overlooked but the solitude that is shown in the film adds to the tension that can be felt.  A
 thirteen-year-old girl who lives in a secluded house that she and her father have rented in a quiet seaside community.  But whenever anybody from the town tries to satisfy their curiosity, her father is never around, and it seems as if the girl is all alone.  her resourcefulness is put to the test as several people try to find out what she might be hiding, including the snobby landlady and her sleazy son.

2:  Trick 'O Treat (2007)

A truly perfect Halloween film, that intertwines 5 stories.  Of the bunch, this film most represents the season as each of its stories unfold during the festivities.  It’s anthology premise takes on the dangers of halloween candy, an urban legend, a jack o’ lantern  and even a Halloween Scrooge.  The film reminded me alot of the Tales from the Darkside which also included a few worthy Halloween shorts.

1:  Halloween (1978)

You cannot have a list of the best Halloween films and not include this John Carpenter classic.  
From its opening scene, where fantastic use of point-of-view filming lets the audience become the eyes of little boy Michael Myers as he stalks and murders his sister, the film relies on suspense rather than sensationalism.  The fear created by the film is based on what could happen more than what actually does. So be prepared to jump and feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end.

So what horror films are on your list to watch this year on Halloween?

Friday, August 9, 2013


Sometimes talking to a complete stranger is easier than talking to a loved one.

Erin sat back, staring at the screen.  Her fingers twitched at the keyboard, hovering just above the letters.  She was trying to start her own chatroom through a popular website.  So far she wasn't having much luck.

Erin was lonely.  She was an only child who had watched her mother commit suicide when she was just eleven years old.  She was now seventeen, but the memory of that day still haunted her.  Doctors had poked and prodded her, asking her a million question in an attempt to see how disturbed she was from the tragedy.  When they couldn't get a straight answer they decided it was better to place her on anti-depressants.

Now she was a recluse, only venturing out of her room to go to school.  She had no friends at school and spent most of her time online.  She had a Facebook and Twitter account, but no friends or followers.  She had tried to make herself seem interesting in hopes that someone would talk to her.  Sadly, no one did.  Her profiles remained bare.

Unable to take being lonely any longer, Erin decided to create her own chatroom, linking it to a very popular game that she played.  She wanted to name it something that would garner attention.  Chewing on her lower lip, and spitting out a piece of broken skin, she typed Misfits into the name box.  She quickly pressed backspace and changed the s to a z.  She half-heartedly smiled.  Misfitz was perfect.

Now she just needed to let people know what her room was about so they could flock to it and discuss the topic she selected.  For a brief moment, Erin thought about making it about the game, but realized she wanted to make friends that shared more interests than just that game.

Her fingers lingered above the keyboard.  What could it be about?

Then before her brain could registrar what she was doing, her fingers began swiftly moving across the keyboard, punching in letters until she had her topic.  "Anything and everything that is relevant to what makes you, you." she read aloud.

Before she really had time to question it, her hand moved to her mouse and clicked on the approved button.  That was it.  Her chatroom was up and running.  Now all she had to do was wait.

Erin glanced at her desk clock.  Only ten minutes had passed.  It felt like hours.

Her computer beeped and Erin jumped.  Someone had not only entered her chatroom, but had sent a message.

Hey, is this room open to anyone?

Erin smiled, a strand of her hair falling in front of her eyes.  She quickly pushed it aside and typed a response.

Yes.  I'm Erin.  The room's founder.

Her heart pounded as she groaned.  How dorky could she have been.

Her computer beeped again.

Cool.  I'm Tom.  Your room's first guest : )

Erin giggled.  Tom had a sense of humor.  Her fingers began moving again.

So what would you like to talk about?

There was a long pause before Tom replied.

I don't know.  Let's find something in common.  We both obviously love Battledome Warriors, so let's see what else we like.  What do you like in the way of music?

Erin's fingers became a blurred motion as they scrambled across the keyboard as she replied to all of Tom's questions.

She was just typing her own when someone else entered the chatroom.

I'm Dave.

Hi Dave, I'm Erin.  Welcome to Misfitz.

The computer beeped.  Someone else had entered the room.

Welcome to Misfitz.  I'm Erin.

I'm Jack.  Cool chat name.

Erin beamed with pride.  People were talking to her.

They continued chatting for the next few hours until her father called her down to dinner.  For the first night since her mother's death, Erin slept well.

The next afternoon she rushed home from school, dropping her bag by the front door and raced upstairs to log into her chatroom.  The boys were already there, talking about the football results from the weekend.

The moment she entered the room, the boys turned their attention to her.

It was like this for the next few weeks.  Erin would neglect her homework and chores before eating her dinner at a record pace.  She spent every waking moment with the boys online.

The one day it was just Erin and Tom.  She wasn't sure where Dave and Jack were but it was fine because Tom was really into her.  Despite never having met him, she could feel how much Tom cared for her because of his words.

Tell me something real.

Erin reread what he had just said.

I don't understand.

Something about you that no one else knows or ever took the time to understand.

Erin chewed on her lip, her stringy brown hair falling in front of her face.

I watched my mother commit suicide.

That's terrible.  How did it happen?

Erin paused.  Did she really want to tell a complete stranger what had happened to her mother?  She never told the doctors what really happened.  She had tried, but they just hadn't seemed interested.  Tom, on the other hand, did.

She suffered from depression.  She never told me why she did, or how she came to suffer from it.  I always assumed it was because she never really wanted children.  Dad didn't believe in abortion so she had to have me.  In the end, Dad couldn't part with me to put me up for adoption so I stayed.

Then when I was 11 I got sick with mono.  Dad was working and Mom wasn't so she was trying to take care of me.  Instead she grabbed my father's gun from his desk in the study, went up to the attic and proceeded to blow her brains out.

She waited with baited breath for Tom to take in everything she said.

Tom seemed to be taking forever to reply.  Erin felt her stomach knot.  She had just confessed something that was close to her chest.

You're probably right.

She paused, staring at the screen.  What did Tom mean?

What? she typed back, chewing on the ends of her hair nervously.

You're probably right about the reason why your mother was depressed.  She probably hated seeing your ugly face everyday.

Tears welled up in Erin's eyes as Tom's hateful words flooded her screen.  She thought she had a real connection to him.  She thought he was someone she could trust.

Tom continued to torment her, telling her that her mom would have killed her at birth if it hadn't been for her Daddy.  Erin began to sob, her shoulders shaking violently.  How could someone who was so kind suddenly become so vicious?

She shut off her computer.  When her father told her it was dinner time, Erin refused to move from her bed.  She told him she was sick and he believed her.

She stayed home from school for the next week, occasionally logging into Misfitz to see what was happening.  Dave and Jack were also ganging up on her, telling her that she should be like her mother and just kill herself as it would be better for everyone.  Jack even asked if her father kept the gun because it would be poetic that both mother and daughter died by the same weapon.

Every night Erin cried herself to sleep.  Maybe these boys were right.  Maybe she should just kill herself.  She was, after all, responsible for her mother's death.

As Monday rolled around, Erin dragged her tired corpse out of bed and headed off to school.  She was more withdrawn then normal, refusing to talk in class, or even do any school work.  It wasn't until lunch time that she spoke and that's only because Missy, the most popular girl in school, sat down at her table.

"Yes?" Erin asked timidly, staring up at Missy.

Missy had beautiful long blonde hair and deep blue eyes.  Her skin was perfectly tanned and her body was toned.  She was always well dressed and presented an aura of perfection whenever she walked past.

"I think you should do it," she said, tilting her head slightly and licking her lips.  "Just kill yourself."

Erin was shocked.  What did she just say?

Missy leaned a little closer so her lips brushed against Erin's ear.  "I can't believe you thought Tom was interested in you.  You're nothing.  You're nobody.  And for the record, I'm Tom."

With that Missy got up and laughed, tossing her hair back.  The other girls who she normally sat with at lunch joined in laughing.

Peeking out from under her messy hair, Erin got a sneaking suspicion that two of Missy's friends were Dave and Jack.

Picking up her school bag, Erin ran out of the cafeteria and headed for home.

Her dad was at work so Erin had the house to herself.  She dropped her school bag and raced into her father's study.  Using the key from the top drawer, Erin unlocked and opened the bottom one.  She reached in, her hand shaking, as she pulled out her father's gun.  The same one her mother had killed herself with six years earlier.

It felt cool in her hand and was a lot heavier than expected.  Gripping it tightly, Erin went back into the hallway.  She dropped it into her school bag, zipped it up and slung it over her shoulder before marching out the front door, heading back to school.  She sat down in the park directly opposite the school grounds and waited.

When the final bell rang, Erin waited for Missy and her friends to begin walking home and quickly slid off the stone wall and began following them at a distance.

Missy and her friends were laughing, talking about how easy it was to fool someone like Erin, who was so lonely and desperate for friendship that she'd do anything.

"She was, like, in love with me!" Missy exclaimed cackling loudly.

They rounded the corner and entered the tunnel that passed under the road.  This was it.  Erin sped up, fishing the gun from her backpack.

"STOP!" she screamed.

Missy and her friends turned around, a bemused look on their faces.

"Ooh the loner has a gun.  What are you going to do, kill yourself?" Missy taunted, hands on her hips.  "Go on, pull the trigger.  End your pathetic existence."

Erin's hand shook, the gun wobbling from side to side.  "You lied to me," she said, her voice shaking as much as her hand.  "You pretended you were someone I could trust."

Missy and the other girls laughed.

Rage filled Erin.  With gritted teeth she held the gun with both hands and squeezed the trigger.


She did it again.


Missy's friends slumped to the ground, the bullets penetrating their hearts.

Missy screamed and turned to run.


Missy fell to the ground.  Her body twitched, blood seeping from the wound in her back.

Erin walked over to her, pointed the gun into the back of her head and pulled the trigger again.


Missy's lifeless body lay sprawled on the ground.

Calmly, Erin placed the gun back into her bag and walked home.

Once inside her house, she removed her father's gun from her bag and returned to her bedroom.  She took a clean piece of paper and her favorite purple pen and headed up the attic.

That's where her father found her, a single gun shot wound to the temple and a piece of paper pinned to her chest.  No sorry, no reason.  Just a simple, single sentence.

How well do you really know someone?

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

The Ballad Of Bloody Mary

And this week's number one is...
They've done it again folks, Dragon Eaters have done it for the third week in the row with Bloody Mary!

"Haha yeah!!"
Finch punched the air in delight as the current tune of the summer blared out of his radio.

Mary, she's got a lust for blood
Mary, Satan's evil slut
Mary, she's gonna f*** you up
Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloodyyyyyyyyyyyy

Finch sang along with the words as the excitement of next week's gig at the Blood Bowl dawned upon him. Rock had seen somewhat of a resurgence in recent times and the charts were now heaving with rock and roll acts, with Dragon Eaters the top of the pile. Finch had been a fan of them since their early days and finally he had the chance to see them at the grandest rock stage of them all. The band's fame wasn't without protest though, with plenty of people voicing their concerns over this newfound love for what they called 'Satanic rock' that they saw as poisoning people's minds and supporting death and destruction.

Finch would laugh upon these suggestions and would snigger every time the sheer mention of the Bloody Mary Ballad being one that supported people risking their lives in uttering those infamous words that would raise the evil spirit of her. It took him back to the days in the school toilets, standing in front of the mirror and attempting to say those words three times in succession with his friends.

Bloody Mary
Bloody Mary

He never quite managed to gather the courage to finish off the words, his youth clearly garnering thoughts of the 'what if' kind. Even to this day he had avoided completing them, not out of fear but because it was something he simply saw as a silly urban legend. He would often see reporters gathering in the city centre to ask people what they thought of the band and their now historical song, making sure he avoided the debacle.

It's a song, he often thought, dismissing any claims that it was anything but.

While many people were still debating the band's decision to release such a song, Finch's mind was well and truly focused on what he thought would be the best gig ever. It had taken him a few months to persuade his girlfriend Lyndsy to delve into his musical world, her taste usually lay no further than the bubblegum pop of a bygone era, but his constant witterings had soon broken her down into submission. He had promised her the event of a lifetime and little did he know, he wasn't wrong.

One week later...

The moment had finally arrived, Finch and Lyndsy clung tightly on to their tickets as they approached the front of the queue as Finch's long-lived dream was finally about to come true. The Rock Arena was host to the Blood Bowl for one night only and Dragon Eaters were finally headlining the biggest rock stage on the planet. Finch was among 70,000 other fans in mass anticipation for what was dubbed as the event of the summer and he'd even got Lyndsy into the spirit, her usual colourful attire replaced for one night only by fishnets, long socks and an abundance of darker clothing, if only to fit into the the surrounding crowds that embarked upon the famous stage.

Once inside, they head straight for the standing area of the arena, covered in a felt black flooring emblazoned with the Blood Bowl emblem, a mixture of mythical creatures and fiery flames. Ahead of them stood the grand stage, a behemoth for any rock act and one that would see Dragon Eaters finally grab the limelight they so fully deserved. In just over a few hours the world's biggest anthem would be rocking the stage and filling thousands with euphoric joy.

"We're Dragon Eaters and we're gonna rock this mother fuckin' place!" Jared Johnson kicked off their moment in the spotlight to a rapturous applause as the band proceeded to belt out their best tunes, much to the delight of Finch and the rest of the 70,000 faithful who had waited patiently for the main event. Sweat poured from Finch and Lyndsy as he rocked their heads back and forth and danced together within the delighted crowd and all seemed to be going well for everyone within the arena. Then came the pinnacle of the night.

"Our next song is a little number we like to call Bloody Mary and you like to call Number One!"

With that the drums began, the bass kicked in and the crowd in attendance went wild. Flailing arms, stamping feet and a worrying amount of satanic props suddenly appeared in the crowd as the song hit its audience with a bang.

Mary, she's got a lust for blood
Mary, Satan's evil slut
Mary, she's gonna f*** you up
Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloodyyyyyyyyyyyy


As if in sheer defiance of any warnings of the consequences of meddling with such an urban legend, the band and audience joined together in unison as those famous words were combined. With no thought of their actions, the whole arena, continued with their chants to the number one song, Finch and Lyndsy joining in and loving every minute.

Hitting the final notes of the song, Dragon Eaters came to their final bow.

"You've been fucking amazing Blood Bowl, good night and tread carefully out there, Mary just might be out for ya!!"

With that, the band disappeared backstage and the crowd chanted for the obligatory encore, but to no avail. Five minutes on constant chanting continued but yet still the band would not deliver, until a a dark-haired gaunt-looking woman appeared on stage, clearly an actor sent on to portray the mythical Mary.

"All of you are gonna die here tonight."

The crowd cheered in glee, believing they were all playing along to this 'actor'.

Not content with her words and the reception she received, the woman raised her hands in the air as the stage began to set alight behind her. Met with more cheering, her rage was now apparent as Finch looked worryingly at his girlfriend, joined by others slowly becoming unsettled in the crowd. As the flames of the stage burnt, out came the screaming band, engulfed in flames and burning to a crisp.


Any thoughts of an act were now quelled as Bloody Mary dove into the crowd, the force of her jump taking down some of the audience at the front as she began thrusted her fist through their very souls, blood slowly flowing and seeping into the felt surface. Immediately Finch grabbed Lyndsy's hand, gripping it tighter than he ever had, as they attempted to meander through the terrified masses as they looked to head for an exit. The arena was now one of blood and death, much like a coliseum full of gladiators ripe for death's picking. Frantically they stumbled over fallen individuals as the ear-piercing sounds of Mary's slaughtering and screaming victims filled the air.

As the exit and possible solace for the pair appeared closer and closer, Lyndsy took a tumble, her ankle buckling in an excruciating release of pain, forcing Finch into a base of action that saw him carrying her in both arms. With her safe in his arms, Finch gradually made his way through the hellish scene of death and bloodshed, all the while remaining fearful of the evil that lurked behind him. Finally reaching the exit to the stadium, he dared not breathe a sigh relief and rightly so, as the doors wee bolted shut just as he was about to reach safety. Screaming and pleading for their lives, the pair, along with thousands of others, were now lambs to the slaughter as Bloody Mary feasted on those who dared to utter her name.

Finch fell to his knees, clung to every bit of the girl he loved and wept, as they both saw the evil figure making her way to turn the night of their lives into the night of their deaths.

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Rhiannon Irons' Top 13 Bad-Ass Horror Honeys

These lovely ladies manage to kick ass and still look hot while doing it.  Whether they’re the hero or the villain, one thing is for certain; you don’t want to piss them off.

13: Mrs. Pamela Voorhees (Betsy Palmer) in Friday the 13th (1980)

She was the original evil, filled with hatred.  She went to extraordinary lengths to show how much she loved her only son. 

So what makes Mrs. Voorhees so bad-ass?  If you have to ask that question, then you missed her impressive body count.  Using a hunting knife, bow and arrows as well as a hatchet, Mrs. Voorhees is one tough chick that you don’t want to anger.

12: Jennifer Hills (Camille Keaton) in I Spit On Your Grave (1978)

What was supposed to be a nice time in the countryside turns nasty for a New York writer.  After being brutally gang raped, Jennifer Hills turns deadly, taking the law into her own hands to slay the men responsible.

The way she takes her revenge is nothing short of brutal and clearly shows that hell does indeed have no fury like a woman scorned.

11: Amanda Young (Shawnee Smith) in the Saw franchise

This woman is a woman on the edge.  Plotting to ‘redeem’ people with the man who ‘redeemed’ her, Amanda has gone about building deadly traps before succumbing to her own death at the hand of a survivor.

Deadly, smart, and apparently very good at welding, Amanda has left her mark on the horror world with one simple image; a reverse bear trap.

10: Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell) in the Scream franchise

Sidney is the ultimate when it comes to survival.  She survived her boyfriend trying to kill her, his mother trying, her own half brother and then her cousin.  But along the way, she chalked up an impressive body count herself.

Never one to play the victim, Sidney used her brains and managed to outwit the cleverest of killers, often using their own tactics and weapons against them.  A bullet to the brain is Sidney’s answer to anyone trying to slaughter her.

9: Alissa (Danielle Harris) in Blood Night: The Legend Of Mary Hatchet

Alissa seems to be a sweet girl.  She’s funny, warm, inviting and works hard to get along with everyone in the new circle of friends.

But what her new friends don’t suspect is something evil lurking just beneath the surface of Alissa’s good girl act.  She completely fools them before unleashing an unspeakable terror.  Yes, that’s right.  Alissa is the killer and trust me when I say, you don’t want to make this one mad…

8: Nancy Thompson (Heather Langenkamp) in Nightmare On Elm Street (1984)

Sure, she started out as a victim, but Nancy took control of her nightmares and makes this list because of her unique way of dealing with her demon. 

Studying a survival manual, she booby trapped her house and coaxed Freddy into a showdown on her terms.  She beat him at his own game.  Sadly it cost Nancy her mother’s life.

7: Mrs. Norma Bates (Vera Farmiga) in Bates Motel (2013-)

A boy’s best friend is his mother, and in the case of Norma and Norman Bates, this couldn’t be any more true. 

Norma goes to any length to protect her son, from covering up a crime he committed to killing for him.  A beauty with a sinister nature, Norma Bates isn’t to be trifled with.

6: Carrie White (Sissy Spacek) in Carrie (1976)

Carry White is young girl who is incredibly shy and doesn’t make friends easily.  After Carrie is crowned Prom Queen, her jealous classmates pour a vat of pigs blood all over her.  Enter the ass kicking of momentous proportions.

Without laying a hand on anyone, Carrie gets her revenge using telekinetic powers, murdering most of her classmates as well as teachers who were in attendance.  Moral of the story: Never bully the loner.  It will come back to haunt you.

5: Patricia Bradley (Dee Wallace) in The Frighteners (1994)

Patricia Bradley was in a deadly relationship – literally.  At a young age she began a killing spree with her boyfriend when she was a teenager.  Once he was executed by the state everything seemed to be alright.  Except, he returned from the grave and with her help, the killing began again.

Patricia makes this list because her idea of kicking ass is blowing Jeffrey Combs’ head off and choking the life out of Michael J. Fox.  Her sinister smirk and her cold eyes all add to this psycho honey’s appeal.

4: Buffy Summers (Sarah Michelle Gellar) in Buffy The Vampire Slayer (1996-2003)

She kicked ass every week through seven seasons, often battling demons, legions of the undead and (obviously) vampires.  She went to Hell and Heaven before returning to Earth to do it all again.  And she did it with near perfect hair.

Though Buffy mixed genres, one thing remains true; she is a champion and kicked the ass of a lot of our nightmares.  And this honey didn’t even break a nail.

3:  Mary-Beth (Danielle Harris) in Hatchet II & Hatchet III

In the first film, Mary-Beth wasn’t much of a bad-ass.  Sure, she toted a gun and had the will to survive.  But when Danielle Harris took over the role in the sequel, all hell broke loose.  Mary-Beth upped the ante and kicked Victor Crowley’s ass all over his swamp.

A Scream Queen and super hottie, Mary-Beth found the strength to avenge her father, brother and all those who tried to stop Crowley by attacking the beast with a hatchet before blowing his brains out with a shot gun.  Moral of the story: Don’t fuck with Mary-Beth.

2:  Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) in the Halloween franchise

Laurie Strode was the perfect victim, until her life was put in danger.  Then she became the ultimate survivor.  She ran from Michael before deciding twenty years after his first attack on her to finally stand up to him.

Sadly for Laurie, her ass kicking of her homicidal brother came to end on a roof top.  But even in death, Laurie Strode went down swinging.

1:  Ellen Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) in the Alien franchise

This woman kicks ass!  She
single handedly takes out an Alien on her first meeting after it kills her crew, then leads the Marines and kicks the queens ass 100yrs later.  If that wasn’t impressive enough she then leads the criminals to take down another without any weapons before kicking a mutants butt.  She’s one bad-ass horror honey.

Ellen Ripley, we salute you. 

Which bad-ass horror honeys make your list?

Thursday, August 1, 2013

This Is Me

I'm only me
That's all I can be
No more, no less
Don't second guess
I love
I live
I laugh
I cry
I've wished sometimes that I could die
Some days I'm funny
Other's I'm not
Sometimes I'm in overdrive
And I cannot stop
You may not like me
And that's okay
Because this is me
And how I'll stay

Horror Icon: Alice Cooper

This Horror Icon is something completely from left field.  And odd choice, but never the less, he is being inducted into our Horror Icon Hall Of Fame.  He is a legend when it comes to shocking audiences worldwide.  And he continues to do despite being 65 years old.  This Horror Icon is none other than Alice Cooper.

Born as Vincent Damon Furnier on February 4, 1948, in Detroit, Michigan, he is the son of Ella Mae and Ether Moroni Furnier.  His father was a lay preacher in the Church of Jesus Christ, also known as the Bickertonite Church.

While growing up in Detroit, Furnier attended Washington Elementary School, Nakin Mills Jr. High and Lutheran High School Westland.  Furnier moved with his family to Phoenix, Arizona after a stint of childhood illnesses where he finished out his schooling years at Cortez High School in north Phoenix.  (Fun Fact: Furnier had gained admission into the University of Arizona, University of Colorado and University of California-Davis – he declined all of these offers)

In 1964 at the age of 16, Furnier was eager to participate in the local annual talent show.  He formed a band from fellow cross-country teammates and became The Earwigs.  The dressed like The Beatles and mimed their performance to Beatles songs.  They won, and became enthralled by the stage.  They learned how to play instruments which they acquired from the local pawn shop.  They changed their name from The Earwigs to The Spiders which saw Furnier on vocals, Glen Buxton on lead guitar, John Tatum on rhythm guitar, Dennis Dunaway on bass and John Speer on drums.  They covered a lot of music from The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Who, The Kinks, The Doors and The Yardbirds.

It took almost three years before they began to make regular road trips to Los Angeles to play shows.  They also changed their name again, this time becoming The Nazz.  It was also around this time that John Speer was replaced by Neal Smith. 

The following year the band learned that Todd Rundgren also had a band called Nazz so they were in need of another stage name.  Furnier believed they needed a gimmick to succeed, and that other bands weren’t exploiting the showmanship of the stage.  He changed his name to Alice Cooper, citing later that it sounded like a little old lady who had a few bodies buried in the backyard.  (Fun Fact: The legend behind the name Alice Cooper is that it came from a session with a oujia board and that it sounded very wholesome and innocent, in humorous contrast to the band’s image)

The classic Alice Cooper line-up
consisted of Furnier, lead guitarist Glen Buxton, rhythm guitarist Michael Bruce, bassist Dennis Dunaway and drummer Neal Smith. With the exception of Smith, who graduated from Camelback High School, all of the band members were on the Cortez High School Cross Country team and many of Cooper’s stage effects were inspired by their cross-country coach, Emmett Smith.  (Fun Fact: In one of Smith’s classes the project was to build a working guillotine for slicing watermelons)

After an unsuccessful night at the Cheetah club in Venice, California, they were approached and enlisted by music manager Shep Gordon, who ironically saw the band’s negative impact that night as a force that could be turned into a more productive direction.  Shep organized a meeting with Frank Zappa, who was looking to sign bizarre music acts to his new record label, Straight Records.

Cooper’s first album Pretties For You was released in 1969 and had a slight psychedelic feel.  Although it touched the US charts for one week at No. 193, it was ultimately a failure.

Alice Cooper's "shock rock" reputation apparently developed almost by accident at first.  An unrehearsed stage routine involving Cooper, a feather pillow and a live chicken garnered attention from the press; the band decided to capitalize on the tabloid sensationalism, creating in the process a new subgenre, shock rock.  Alice claims that the infamous “Chicken Incident” at the Toronto Rock and Roll Revival concert in September 1969 was an accident.  A chicken somehow made its way onto the stage into the feathers of a feather pillow they would open during Cooper's performance, and not having any experience around farm animals, Cooper presumed that, because the chicken had wings, it would be able to fly.  He picked it up and threw it out over the crowd, expecting it to fly away. The chicken instead plummeted into the first few rows occupied by disabled people in wheelchairs, who reportedly proceeded to tear the bird to pieces.  The next day the incident made the front page of national newspapers, and Zappa phoned Cooper and asked if the story, which reported that he had bitten off the chicken's head and drunk its blood on stage, was true. Cooper denied the rumor, whereupon Zappa told him, "Well, whatever you do, don't tell anyone you didn't do it," obviously recognizing that such publicity would be priceless for the band.

In 1970 the Alice Cooper group teamed up with producer Bob Ezrin for the recording of their third album Love It To Death.  This was the final album in their Straight Records contract and the band’s last chance to create a hit.  That first success came with the single “I’m Eighteen”, released in November 1970, which reached number 21 on the Billboard Hot 100 in early 1971.  Not long after the album’s release in 1971 Warner Bros. Records purchased Alice Cooper’s contract from Straight Records and re-issued the album, giving the group a higher level of promotion.

Their follow up album, Killer, released in late 1971, and continued their commercial success of Love It To Death.  “Halo Of Flies” became a Top 10 hit in the Netherlands in 1972.  Thematically, Killer expanded on the villainous side of Cooper’s androgynous stage role, with its music becoming the soundtrack to the group’s morality-based stage show, which by then featured a boa constrictor hugging Cooper on-stage, the murderous axe chopping of bloodied baby dolls, and execution by hanging at the gallows.

The summer of 1972 saw the release of the single School’s Out.  It went Top 10 in the USA and number 1 in the UK, remaining a staple on classic rock radio to this day.  The album School’s Out reached No. 2 on the US charts and sold over a million copies.

In February 1973, Billion Dollar Babies was released worldwide and became the band’s most commercially successful album, reaching No. 1 in both the US and UK.

In 1974 the band’s feature film Good To See You Again, Alice Cooper (consisting of mainly 1973 concert footage with ‘comedic’ sketches woven throughout to a faint storyline) release on a minor theatrical run, mostly to drive in theaters.

In 1975, Alice Cooper returned with a solo project entitled Welcome To My Nightmare.  To avoid legal complications over the band’s name, Furnier had legally changed his name to Alice Cooper.  The success of the album was spearheaded by the ballad “Only Women Bleed” and the album was released by Atlantic Records in March of that year.  It became a Top 10 hit for Cooper.  It was a concept album that was based on the nightmare of a child named Steven, featuring narration from everyone’s favorite Horror Icon, Vincent Price, and served as the soundtrack to Cooper’s new stage show which was now more theatrical.

Accompanying the album and stage show was the television special The Nightmare, starring Alice and Vincent Price, which aired on US prime-time TV in April 1975.  The Nightmare, which was later released on home video in 1983 and gained a Grammy Awards nomination for Best Long Form Music Video, was regarded as another groundbreaking moment in rock history.  (Fun Fact: Alice lost the Grammy to Duran Duran)

Fast forwarding to 1986 Alice returned to the music industry with Constrictor and featured the hit “He’s Back (The Man Behind The Mask)” which was the theme song for the movie Friday The 13th Park VI: Jason Lives.  In the music video of the song, Alice was given a cameo role as a deranged psychiatrist.  The album also featured fan favorite “Teenage Frankenstein”.  The following year he released Raise Your Fist And Yell which was heavily inspired by the slasher horror movies of the time such as the Friday The 13th and Nightmare On Elm Street series.

That same year Alice teamed up with Donald Pleasence and director John Carpenter for the movie Prince Of Darkness.  A vastly underrated movie, Prince Of Darkness saw Alice play Street Schizo.  He had no lines, however he did manage to impale someone with a bicycle frame.

In 1988 Alice signed with Epic Records.  In 1989 his career finally experienced a legitimate revival with the Desmond Child produced and Grammy nominated album Trash, which spawned a hit single “Poison”.

In 1991, Alice found himself back on the big screen, going toe to toe with another one of the horror genre’s greatest villains, Freddy Krueger, in Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare in which he played Freddy’s abusive step-father. 

That same year he released his 19th studio album entitled Hey Stoopid which features the smash hit “Feed My Frankenstein”.

In 1992 Cooper made his infamous cameo in Wayne’s World.  In deed “We are not worthy!”

During his absence from the recording studio, Cooper toured extensively every year throughout the latter part of the 90’s.  He also made an appearance in an episode of That 70s Show.

In 2003 Alice received a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame and in 2007 was honored with a Rock Immortal award at the Scream Awards.

In 2006 the original Alice Cooper band reunited to perform six classic Alice Cooper songs at Cooper’s annual charity event in Phoenix entitled “Christmas Pudding”.

In 2007 Alice teamed up with fellow shock rocker Marilyn Manson at the B’Estival even in Bucharest, Romania. 

In 2009 Alice teamed up with fellow Rock icon Iggy Pop and Moby to star in the movie called Suck.  Aptly named, this movie tanked however did provide a lot of entertainment.  Alice as the ‘bartender’ was an intriguing combination as we know whenever Alice is concerned, nothing is as it seems.

In January of 2010 it was announced that Alice would be touring with Rob Zombie on the “Gruesome Twosome” tour.  During that time Alice got to work on a new studio album entitled Welcome 2 My Nightmare, a sequel to the original Welcome To My Nightmare.

On December 15, 2010 it was announced that Alice Cooper and his former band would be inducted into Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame.  The official Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony took place March 14, 2011 where Cooper was inducted by fellow horror-rocker Rob Zombie.  Original members Bruce, Cooper, Dunaway, and Smith all made brief acceptance speeches and performed "I'm Eighteen" and "School's Out" live together, with Steve Hunter filling in for the late Glen Buxton. Alice showed up for the event wearing a (presumably fake) blood-splattered shirt and had a live giant albino boa snake wrapped around his neck.

In 2012 Alice starred as himself alongside Johnny Depp in the Tim Burton Dark Shadows adaptation.

His career has spanned more than five decades.  His music and presence is renowned.  At 65 years of age, Alice doesn’t look like he’s slowing down anytime soon.  He kicked his well documented alcohol addiction and replaced it with a golf club, his performances are still electrifying and his music, like a fine bottle of wine, are getting better with each passing year.  He commands the stage like no one before, putting on a show that every generation must know.  And when he does take time out to appear in films, he treats it the same way; all or nothing.  That is why Alice Cooper is my Horror Icon.  “We are not worthy!”

Rhiannon Irons’ Top 5 Alice Cooper Songs

1) Poison (1989) – “I want to hurt you just to hear you screaming my name.”

2) I’ll Bite Your Face Off (2011) – “She licked her lips, they were bloody red. She had the heart of the living dead.”

3) He’s Back (The Man Behind The Mask) (1986) – “ki-ki-ki ma-ma-ma.”

4) School’s Out (1972) – “Schooooool’s out for summer!”

5) No More Mr. Nice Guy (1973) – “I use to be such a sweet, sweet thing til they got a hold of me.”