Naughty Girl

I've seen the world
With parted eyes
I've seen the real you
Though all your lies
But you're not the only one
Who's been out having some fun

I'm a naughty girl
Performing a peep show
Doing things
A girl shouldn't know
And I wanna know
How you found out
What I've been up to
What I'm all about

Gone are the days
Of my innocence
Now all I'm after
Is vengence
You hurt me when you left
But now I am tough
What I do is questionable
I like it real rough

I'm a naughty girl
Performing a peep show
Doing things
A girl shouldn't know
And I wanna know
How you found out
What I've been up to
What I'm all about

I'm Not In Love

I use to think
That dreams were just for fools
But now I know
That I was wrong to reject you
Seems like I'm caught in the middle
In a battle of emotions

I'm not in love
It's just a crush
All I need is time
A moment that is mine
While I'm waiting for you
I'm not in love

There is no need to resent me
It's time that I
Learned to live with my mistakes
This is not a rejection
But there is nothing that I need from you

I'm not in love
It's just a crush
All I need is time
A moment that is mine
While I'm waiting for you
I'm not in love

Feels like there's so much more
Between us
And you see it in my eyes
So why does this romance pass us by

I'm not in love
Don't tell me what to believe
It's just a crush
I'm trying hard to believe
All I need is time
A moment to call mine
While I'm waiting
I'm not in love
It's just a crush

Now This Is Advertising

The greatest road sign ever . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

World's Best Kisser

I'm wet and I'm moist
So come on let's rejoice
In the birds, the bees, the fillies and the colts
And the fact that we are all young adults (hi baby, how are you?)
And lie back on your couch
After this there'll be no doubt
I don't care if you're a Miss or a Missus
You done been squelched by the world's best kisses

Ho, ho, sit up straight and pout
I'll suck your face until I pull your molars out
A tongue so grand you'll call me more than friend
One kiss from this and you'll never brush your teeth again
(and you know it's true, mate)

Well go back to your husband now
Tell him you done broke your vow
Stand proud and say "Hey Mister,
I've just been kissed by the world's best kisser"

Ho, ho, sit up straight and pout
I'll suck your face until I pull your wisdoms out
A tongue so long it really grows and grows
Put it in your mouth and it'll clean out your nose

I've only kissed one girl before
My Grandma on the kitchen floor
She dribbled and grinned and said "Hey Kid,
You taught me things your Grandpa never did"
She added there'd be hell to pay
If Ma found out we'd gone astray
So hurry Paul, go and get some sleep
You finally got a skill to teach the sheep

Hey, hey, calm down and pucker up
These lips are strong enough to stop a truck
A tongue so long, it really packs a punch
One kiss from this
And I'll know what you had for lunch
One kiss from this
And I'll know what you had for lunch
Yesterday

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tA4EzfdLdPg&feature=related

Funk You

I don't know much about art but I can tell you this:
Duchamp's Urinal is a piece of piss
Van Gogh cut off his ear to spite his face - so what!
Me, I've got a message for the whole human race:
I wanna be a phallic symbol like the Tower of Pisa
And wipe the smile off the face of that bitch the Mona Lisa
I'll date Botticelli's Venus just to tease her
But unless you're hung like a Jackson Pollock
You couldn't please her!


Funk you! And funk your mother
Funk your sister, funk your auntie
And funk your little brother
When you've learnt how to funk one another
Don't leave that groovy thing on the shelf
Go home to the one you love and -
Funk yourself!


As Galileo said, "And yet it moves!"
While Oppenheimer splits the atom
And Newton finds the groove
But me, I agree with Einstein
Who put it so much simpler,
"I want to end as it began
With one big bang, not a whimper!"


Funk you! Funk quantum physics
When you've proved their theories wrong
You can go and funk the cynics
Take a proton pill as you butt-funk the critics
You're an E=MC squared (that's your life! )
Well, funk you buddy and -
Funk your wife!


Sexual psychology fascinates me more than art or science
I've attempted intercourse with every household appliance
A girl came to my clinic, I guess you'd call her a client
She wouldn't touch my pinkies, which I found so defiant
I said, "My psycho-analyst will love you, cos you look just like my sister."
She said, "But I've got no arms, and armless girls cannot play Twister!"
She tried to take my pants off and she had to use her teeth
But her stiff upper lip got caught in the metal zip


Funk you! And funk your mother
Funk your sister, funk your auntie
And funk your little brother
When you've learnt how to funk one another
Don't leave that groovy thing on the shelf
Go home to the one you love and -
Home to the one you love and -
Home to the one you love and -
Funk yourself!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAQoE0HwIsk