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Sunday, March 17, 2013

Rhiannon Irons' Top 13 Potential Horror Remakes

Remakes.  Love them or hate them they're a part of the Hollywood machine.  Some a good, some are iffy and others are down right disturbing.  Whatever your stance on remakes, I've managed to compile a list of 13 horror films that could potentially be remade into something good.  Not great or even Oscar winning, but good.

13 titles.  13 potential remakes.  13....unlucky for some.

13)  The Burning  (1981)
A former summer camp caretaker, horribly burned from a prank gone wrong, lurks around an upstate New York summer camp bent on killing the teenagers responsible for his disfigurement.

It's got potential to be fun, maybe even a little 'campy' (no pun intended).  Good structure for some 'Jason' inspired kills.  The storyline may need a little tweaking but over all it's got good bones (again, no pun intended) for a remake.

12)  Waxwork  (1988)

A wax museum owner uses his horror exhibits to unleash evil on the world.

A voodoo curse with monsters from both history and cinema coming to life.  I don't know of any other movie that sees Dracula, the Wolf Man, the Invisible Man, Frankenstein and the Mummy appear side by side with the legions of zombies as well as horrific characters from history.  It's not a bad film on it's own, but with a bigger budget it may be improved upon.

11)  Chopping Mall  (1986)

Eight teenagers are trapped after hours in a high tech shopping mall and pursued by three murderous security robots out of control.

The classic tale of robots going on a killing spree, Chopping Mall wasn't too bad.  Not great, but not bad.  Add some high tech, state-of-the-art robots as well as a big name star of today and this campy horror film may just have the chance to grow bigger and better.

10)  Slaughter High  (1986)

Eight different people are invited to their 10-year high school reunion at their now-closed down high school where a former student, disfigured from a prank gone wrong, is there to seek revenge.

A classic tale of revenge.  When it comes to horror, these stories are a dime a dozen.  But what makes this story stand out is the potential for some really awesome and fucked up kills.  After all, isn't it a horror movie no-no to bully the nerd in high school?

9)  The Slumber Party Massacre  (1982)

An eighteen-year-old high school girl is left at home by her parents and she decides to have a slumber party.

What could go wrong with that?  Oh sure, there's a maniac with a power drill on the loose, but otherwise, think of the fun this movie could bring if it were updated.  Girls in skimpy lingerie, pillow fights and boy gatecrashers followed by some serious killer carnage.  Could be fun.

8)  Hell Night  (1981)

Four college pledges are forced to spend the night in a deserted old mansion where they get killed off one by one by the monstrous surviving members of a family massacre years earlier for trespassing on their living grounds.

An interesting tale with the potential to be better.  A larger budget and better effects teamed with a tweaked script and this could be something like Halloween meets Just Before Dawn.  Either way, it would be a scream.

7)  The Return Of The Living Dead  (1985)

When a bumbling pair of employees at a medical supply warehouse accidentally release a deadly gas into the air, the vapors cause the dead to re-animate as they go on a rampage through Louisville, Kentucky seeking their favorite food, brains.

Zombies are all the rage so why not take this campy tale and give it a more terrifying twist.  Upgrade the zombies, upgrade the script, upgrade the effects and the audience will be sitting in their seats mumbling "Brainsssssssssssss."

6)  976-Evil  (1988)

People who dial 976-EVIL receive supernatural powers and turn into satanic killers.

Nothing wrong with Robert Englund's direction but it could benefit from a larger effects budget and big name in the cast to get audience's into the theater.  An interesting, and original, storyline that asked the ultimate question - Do you want to know what your HORRORSCOPE is?

5)  Demonic Toys  (1992)

A policewoman, her quarry and an innocent delivery boy become trapped in a haunted toy warehouse.

Long before Toy Story there was Demonic Toys.  But by following Toy Story's example of a healthy budget and by re-writing the script so that the story is fresh, this could be an interesting turn of events.  But one thing I'd keep would be Baby Oopsie-Daisy's foul mouth.  "
I can walk, I can talk, I can even shit my pants.  Can you shit your pants?"

4)  Alligator  (1980)

A baby alligator is flushed down a Chicago toilet and survives by eating discarded lab rats, injected with growth hormones. The small animal grows gigantic, escapes the city sewers, and goes on a rampage.

An urban legend being remade to fit in with this day and age would spark some interest.  I'm sure we'd hear "Oh I heard this story before.  It happened to a friend of a friend of mine."  Add in some of the knowledge that we have now, maybe even use CGI and that gator won't want to be messed with.

3)  Demon Seed  (1977)

A scientist creates Proteus - an organic super computer with artificial intelligence which becomes obsessed with human beings, and in particular the creators wife.

This could be a fun movie to explore with the right creative mind driving it all.  Think of all the possiblities today's technology could bring to this film.  Add in a horror icon and presto - you have a go picture.

2)  Night Of The Lepus  (1972)

Giant mutant rabbits terrorize the southwest.

OK, so this one's a little out there, and you really can't replace Janet Leigh with anyone, but hear me out.  This film has loads of potential.  If CGI, animatronics, a star studded cast and a director with loads of imagination were used, this film could, and I do mean could, be something better then good.  It could be great.

1)  Terror Train  (1980)

A masked killer targets six college kids responsible for a prank gone wrong years earlier and whom are currently throwing a large New Year's Eve costume party aboard a moving train.

OK, so it's really Halloween except on a train rather then a fictional town, but this could be updated.  Hell, even Pretty Little Liars took this concept for a spin during one of their Halloween episodes so I don't see why it can't be refreshed for the modern audience.  It was a clever, fun film back then (of course Scream Queen, Jamie Lee Curtis helped) and I enjoy the original even today.  Better costumes, a chance to explore some interesting deaths and instead of David Copperfiled, we could use Criss Angel as the magician.  Think of how funky fresh that would be.

So what do you think?  Is there a movie that I missed that you think would potentially be an interesting remake?  Leave your thoughts below.  Let the debating begin.


  1. This is sad. I've only heard of two of these films. I would like to see a remake of House. That was an interesting film.

  2. Great list. I've only heard of a couple of these and have only seen 976-EVIL. Will this be featured on Truly Disturbing?

  3. PLL did Terror Train?! Shit I have to keep up. Great list, Rei

  4. Slaughter High & The Slumber Party Massacre were shit films. No amount of tweaking will make them good. The Burning would be an interesting remake