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Sunday, October 2, 2011

Welcome To My Nightmare

As I sit here alone in a room,
And I glance out the window. 
It's hard to see with tears streaming down my face.
But I can make out the flames
As they lick the window pane.

I was a royal bitch.
Undeserving of your love.
Why am I like this?
Why must I hate?
Why can't I be like the pretty girls you date?
Perky and bubbly
No room for hatred.
But I can't be like them.
All I can be is me.
And truth be told
I'm not liking 'me' much at all.

I have a temper.
I have a problem with anger.
And it is you who cops the worst of it.

I do stupid things
Hoping and praying that they don't backfire.
But this time it did.
I sent someone else to do my dirty work
And now we no longer speak.

As the flames draw closer,
Blurred by my tears
I am forced to sit in silence
And wait for judgement.

He looks down upon me
His eyes judging
Watching my every movement.
I have never feared anything before
But I fear Him.
His eyes are cold and black as coals.

"I'm sorry," I say
Clasping my hands together.
His lips curls into a snarl.
"Sorry?" he mocks
And I know that I am doomed.
I beg for forgiveness
But the blood is on my hands.
It stains
And no amount of wiping it on my jeans
Will get it to release from my skin.

I scream a scream of terror
As He lunges for me.
His face inches from mine.
I begin to sob
I keep repeating the words
"I'm sorry."

The flames lap my shoes
But I am not bothered.
I have caused pain to you
And now, as punishment
I must suffer the same.

I look up at Him
His eyes watching me like a hawk.
His lip still curled in a snarl.
He raises his hand
The flames combust
Growing ever larger
And blocking my escape.

I close my eyes
Waiting for the pain.
Waiting for the moment
When I cease to exist.

But it never comes.
Slowly, I open one eye.
The flames are gone.
I open the other
And look around.

I am back in my bed
Alone in my room.
Everything is as it seems.
There is no monster standing before me.
"It was just a dream," I say
As I place my feet on the floor.

I make my way to the bathroom
And splash my face with cold water.
A glance up at the mirror
Strikes fear through my veins.
He stares back,
His eyes cold as ice.
I open my mouth to scream
But something won't let me.
"I feel it is only fair," He says.
"To welcome you to my nightmare."

1 comment:

  1. Heartfelt. Powerful. You must really be hurting to write something like this.