Bargin Books, Games, Music, Movies & More

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

This will be my last entry. You were a record of all my hopes and dreams for the future. I don't have a future, nor will I see my dreams come true.

I clearly don't have what it takes to make it. So many people are agreeing with that statement, calling me a hack and worse. Of course, my friends are there telling me otherwise, words I want to hear which is just what friends do. But it's hard not to listen to what the naysayers have to say.

I'm not sure what I did to deserve such hatred especially from people I don't know. How can someone, who is not a part of my life, make such cruel and inhuman taunts at my expense? I know not everyone is going to like me, but if they don't I ask that they tell me nicely rather than using profanity that features around a four-letter 'c' word.

Why are so many people so mean? Why must they destroy what little self-esteem I have left? I was just starting to feel good about myself.

My friends have told me to ignore it. That they're jealous. Maybe they're right. Maybe my haters are just jealous. But I would like to know what's finally set them off. Why now? Why am I now the sudden target for online abuse? Why, if people have nothing nice to say, don't they just not say anything at all?

I want to die. I can't handle another day where my account is filled with hatred. Filled with people telling me I'm better off dead or that my dream is so far out of reach that I'd have a better chance of flying to the moon and back before dinner.

As I write this, Diary, the blood seeps from my open wound on my wrist. It's staining the paper. The words I have written are getting fuzzy. I'm feeling faint. Please tell my family and friends that I love them and pass onto the haters that they've won. I'm sorry...


  1. Nooooooooooooo! Fuck what the haters say! You're fantastic at what you are, you're a kind, sweet woman with a beautiful mind.

  2. Dom,
    It's OK. I'm fine. I'm using this 'Diary entry' to make a point that lives are ruined by bullying especially when it comes from an anonymous source.

    I was a target yesterday for a lot of abuse via Twitter, so what better way to show the world how bullying effects people than with a journal of thoughts echoed from every victim. It may be a little extreme, and I apologise for that, however it's something close to my heart. Bullying of all sorts needs to be wiped out for good. And I will fight this fight until I take my last breath.

  3. You had me worried until I read your message in the comments. I agree, bullying of all kinds is not acceptable. This diary is a little extreme but I can see your point especially when you look at it from a victims point of view.

  4. Intense but you make a good point. Lives are ruined by bullies and some people never recover.

  5. I can't believe people would target you. You're such a nice person, Rei. You're kind, sweet, funny. Why would people hate you for that. You are who you are.
    Maybe this will get people talking.

  6. An intense way of getting your point across, but it's come in loud and clear.

    I'm sending this off to Sunrise and Today to see if they want to do a story on bullying and your anti-bullying campaign.

  7. ReiRei, the surfing goddess, stands up for what she believes in. I knew this diary entry didn't come from you, but rather a point you were making about how victims feel. I hope it helps with your anti-bullying campaign. I'll be behind you 110%